Fanfic:To enter a new life
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A new arrival
Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
Amayani couldn't do anything but gape in awe at the sight of the Grey Tower. The Tower's battlements had been visible for the last hours, but the impressive view of the Tower itself appeared in its full glory as they passed through the Gate. As she let her horse fall in next to Saphire Sedai, she looked up at the grand building they were approaching. It was by far larger than she had ever imagined. The lower section stretched far to the left and right until it curved out of sight. And in the middle the tower loomed over everything. She had to tilt her head back to see the top, where two flags were waving down at her. One, she think she recognized as the ancient symbol of the white flame of the Aes Sedai, and the black fang of the Asha'man. The other contained the colors of the seven Ajahs.
Guiding her horse down the Main Entrance, Amayani looked back at the Gate, through which they had just passed through. As they had approached the Gate, they had been stopped by the Tower Guard, and been told to state their name and purpose of visit. She had given them her full name and origin at request, and had told them, a bit of shyness in her voice, that she intended to become a Warder. And she had to register what weapons she was carrying, which actually were none. Only then had the Guards let them continue through.
And now Saphire Sedai was guiding her through the Tower, heading for the Mistress of Novices' Office. Later, when she thought back to that journey, she couldn't remember much. It was so many things that were new and unknown to her, her mind could only register parts of it. There were glimpses of great hallways, gardens enclosed by walls, people passing by in white or black depending on their sexes. At some point they had passed their horses on to a stable boy; she would have to figure out where Blaze had been placed when she got settled. If she would manage to get settled in this place. She didn't even know where in this place she would stay, or what she was doing here. Maybe it had been a bad idea to come. Pushing away such thoughts, she tried to pay attention to Saphire's little guided tour. And before she knew just what had happened, Saphire Sedai had stopped in front of a door.
"Curtsey when you enter, are addressed, and are given leave. I will introduce you to the Mistress of Novices, Miahala Sedai. She is also the Head of my Ajah. Stand behind me and do not speak until then."
The Mistress of Novice's Office. Amayani just looked at the door for a second, as thoughts swirled in her head. What if I actually can learn to Channel? What if I actually can become an Aes Sedai? She hadn't given that scenario any though up until now. Saphire Sedai had said that she didn't have the spark, yet that she might be able to learn, but in her mind she had dismissed the idea. She was here to become a Warder, to protect those who could channel, but what if she was one of them herself?
Then Saphire Sedai pushed open the door, and revealed the room behind. Amayani stepped into the room, tugging her chestnut hair nervously, and was suddenly more at ease. There were something about that room that made her feel welcome. Looking at the woman behind the desk, she was met with a smile in that ageless face of the Aes Sedai. She dropped into a curtsy of respect to the woman.
Saphire Sedai smiled warmly at the woman behind the desk, and she seemed to be restraining herself from embracing openly. "Sister, this is Amayani, I snatched her up on my journey back from campaign. She is here to be tested."
Welcome to the Tower Miahala Ives Sedai
It was, all things considered, an average day for the Captain General and Mistress of Novices. She was working through the business of both positions with a consistent, steady stream of effort. At the other end of the bond, in the quiet and fond place of her mind and heart, she could sense Caden working in the Warder Yards. Their son was being tended by Ryne and Thea, who had remarked at how quickly he was growing.
Mia lifted her head from her reading when there came a knock at the door and she called for them to enter. It was an interesting sight that she granted a faint smile upon. She had potential new Novices brought in frequently, though not often by Saphire.
"Thank you, Sister," Mia said with a small nod of her head. "I'll take it from here," and the words were a polite dismissal, as two Aes Sedai were not needed for this task.
Once the door had shut behind the other Green, Mia turned her attention on to the nervous young woman standing before her desk. (This was also something that was far from uncommon.) "At ease, child," she said kindly. The term 'child' was not said in any way that was condescending or cold. "As you know, I am Miahala Sedai."
She paused. "Being tested to see if you can learn to Channel is a fairly simple matter," the Aes Sedai then continued. "Yet I understand that it can be an intimidating one. Is there anything you'd like to say before we proceed?" Miahala had never been the sort to keep from getting right to the point.
Am I here already Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
As Saphire Sedai left the room, Amayani felt her heart sink a bit. She did not know the woman very well, but they had been travelling together all the way from Murandy; getting to know each other to some degree was inevitable. And now the only person she knew at least a little in the whole place walked out of the room. Yet, it would be ok. She turned her attention to the other woman in the room as the Mistress of Novices spoke.
As Miahala Sedai talked, Amayani’s mind went astray as she listened. She tried to think, tried not to think, and wasn’t sure what her mind was up to in the end. Then she realized that the Aes Sedai was waiting for a response, and her mind panicked.
"Eh..uhm," she began stuttering, trying desperately to find some words. "Not really, ma'am.. eh, M-miahala Sedai." She took a quick breath. "I haven't quite realized that I'm here yet, I think. And also, I haven't thought that I might be actually, possibly studying as a Novice. I mean, I want to become a Warder, that's why I came here, but Saphire Sedai said I had to be tested as well, so I guess I have to. But I..." she stopped to take another, deeper breath. I'm babling again, now shut up. "I'm sorry, ma'a...ehm.. Aes Sedai." Aes Sedai, not ma'am, I must start remembering that. She realized that she was fiddling with her hair again, and forced her hand down to rest beside her hip, and started playing with the hem of her shirt instead.
Yes. It's not a dream. You're really here. Miahala Ives Sedai
Miahala's smile was a gentle one, and one of sympathy. She had seen so many young girls sitting here, terrified of the test to come and wondering what it would say. This woman, Miahala, seemingly had such power to direct the entirety of the rest of their lives. It was not a power Miahala wished. She loved her position, but she had never sought power over others. Not in the way people thought Aes Sedai did.
But then, Mia had never really been like anyone else.
The smile warmed her features, making them seem less like carved ivory. "Be at ease, child," she said kindly. "Becoming a Gaidin is a very noble aspiration, and should the result of our meeting lead you to that path, I wish you all the best of luck and the Warder Yards, the Tower and you shall be better for another dedicated trainee.
"But if Saphire Sedai believes there is a chance you can be taught, then it is at least best that you know. The Tower would be served just as well by a new Novice as a new Drin'far'ji." She paused. Miahala then opened herself to the One Power, surrendering and embracing it and letting it flow through her with very little conscious thought.
She had been doing this for a long, long time now. With her senses on fire with Saidar, she took a slow deep breath and then channeled. It was but a small flame that appeared high above her desk, out of the danger reach of any object or person. She was skilled enough to now need the hand gestures that many Sedai did, at least not for something so small.
There was no resonance.
Mia dropped the weave and then released the One Power. She gave another small smile and shook her head. "You show no aptitude for being able to learn to Channel. You are free to pursue your original goal of seeking to be a Gaidar."
Chasing a dreamæ Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
Amayani relaxed again under the smile from the Mistress of Novices, and her words soothed her mind a little bit. It did not matter that much if it turned out that she could indeed channel. Sure, it would change her life completely, but she had already done that by coming to the Grey Tower. When she had chosen to come here, and join their ranks, she had chosen to fight the Dark. And that could be done just as well as an Aes Sedai then as their Warder. Yes, either way would be fine, she thought.
But as a small flame appeared above the desk in front of her, she could not help but to feel a shiver down her spine. She gazed upon the flame, transfixed for a moment, and yet sceptical. It was strange that such a small flame could be so beautiful and yet to frightening, and she knew in her heart that this was not the path for her. Yet it was just as she thought that, that the idea of being able to channel was most intriguing. Then the flame disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared, and Yani looked at the Aes Sedai again.
Miahala Sedai shook her head with a small smile as she spoke. "You show no aptitude for being able to learn to Channel. You are free to pursue your original goal of seeking to be a Gaidar." As the Aes Sedai finished, she felt a wave of relief wash over her, along with a tiny sting of disappointment.
Amayani returned the smile, and dropped into a small curtsy. "Thank you, Miahala Sedai," she said, and paused for a moment. "I hope I have what it takes to become a Gaidar." She trailed off again, and started playing with her hair again, before she stopped and looked at Miahala Sedai. "Is it hard?"
As In All Things Miahala Ives Sedai
Is it hard? This was not an uncommon question, but generally only those who already knew the answer ever asked it. It was those who didn't know or think enough to ask that assumed it wouldn't be hard, and were sorely disappointed.
"Yes," Miahala replied, for even without the binding of her oaths, she would not lie to the girl. "As with all things in this life that are worth having, worth attaining, it is a difficult road, but not an impossible one, for many have walked the path before you and many will walk the path after you.
"So long as you are certain in what you wish, determined and as strong as you can be, you will persevere." A pause, a tilting of her head. "Do you have any other questions I might be able to help you with, long having had a very close relationship to the Warder Yards," she couldn't help but think that an understatement, "before I send you along to join them?"
All things worth going for at least Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
Even before Miahala Sedai answered her question, she knew the answer. And the Aes Sedai just confirmed what she knew deep down. The path to become a Gaidar was not one taken lightly, and she had to work hard and determined to reach that goal. So far the idea had been a dream, grasped after in the spur of a moment. But now she was here, ready to start on that dream. She had to be sure this was what she wanted, had to be strong to stay on the path even when it got tough. And it would.
As the Aes Sedai asked if she had any other questions, Amayani shook her head lightly, while she though about anything she might be wondering about. There were so much she was curious about, but right then and there nothing came to her mind. She knew she'd probably get tons of questions the moment she was on her way, though now her mind was blank.
"Ehm... No, I don't have any other questions right now, Miahala Sedai." It wasn't easy to be this formal all the time, but she tried her best. "None that I can think of right now at least."
On to Your New Life... Miahala Ives Sedai
Miahala smiled. It was a large event in the course of a new life, and an expansive question, so she was hardly surprised. She nodded towards the door. "Then I suggest you now head off to the Warder Yards to get yourself begun on the path of your new life."
To enter a new life Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
The young girl exiting the Mistress of Novices' office had a look upon her face that was not uncommonly seen on the people coming through that door. She looked quite nervous and thoughtful, and her head was tilted slightly down as she walked a couple of steps before she came to a halt and looked up and down the hallway. Her hands were playing with a few strands of her chestnut hair, as she so often did when she was unsure. The rest of her hair hung loosely around her shoulders.
The hallway, which had felt so empty just a moment ago, was suddenly buzzing with men and women clad in black and white separately, and with multiple colors on the hems of their dresses and suits. One of them, a tall, golden-haired young woman, stopped for a second and changed her direction, heading straight for her.
"You look kinda lost," the woman said quite abruptly, without any introduction, and scanned her up and down with a critical but friendly look. "You're new here, I presume? Did you just enrol?" And before she could open her mouth to reply, " come, I'll show you around," the woman said with a smile and took a few steps, beckoning for her to follow.
"Eh, no, I.. Yes, I mean, I'm new here," Yani managed to say, quite taken aback by the friendliness and openness the other woman showed. That was something she was not used to, and it left her quite suspicious. Though she kept those thoughts in the back of her mind, and put on a friendly, unreadable face as she continued. "Though I didn't pass the test to become a Novice. I was on my way to the, what did she call them, Warder Yards?" She looked at the other woman, acting dumber then she was, and got the acknowledging reply she was looking for. "Though I don't know the way."
"Don't worry about that," the young woman said with a smile. "I'll show you. And I can show you a bit around on the way, if you like." As they started walking, the young woman turned her head to her. "I'm Diaphana, Accepted here at the Grey Tower. Though you can call me Fanny, everyone does." Amayani returned the smile and her name, though gave only the short version of her own name: Yani.
The Accepted was quite a chatterbox, as Yani experienced on their way through the Tower and towards the Yards. Diaphana gave her quite a tour, showing her this and that, and telling her all kinds of stories, and Yani was quite sure that they could've been there in half the time, though she couldn't tell for sure. With all the turns and detours the Accepted was taking, she was completely lost by the time they reached the outdoors.
Approaching the areas which she told was the Yards, she pointed out the different parts; "That's the Training Yard, and over there you can see the Sparring Yard. There are always some hot, shirtless guys around there," the last was added with a playfull grin. "And over there's the Warder Halls, that's where the Barracks are and the Officer's study's on the second floor. We're heading there now, and... Oh!" Yani almost jumped at the outburst from the Accepted. "There he is. Come." She changed their direction towards what she'd pointed out as the Training Yard. Ahead of them she could see a small group of people practicing with weapons quite easily recognized; polearms. As they got close, Diaphana stopped near man watching the others, and addressed him with a curtsy.
"Gaidin Captain, sir. I got a new trainee for you."
A new trainee? I'll be the judge of that Damon Thresher
Damon stood watching as the class moved through their morning exercises. This group was moving along very well and the trainees were learning quickly.
Damon heard them as they approached, the Novice Diaphana seemed never to stop talking, so he was not surprised when the girl stopped next to him, with another girl in tow. "Gaidin Captain, sir. I got a new trainee for you."
"Thank you Accepted, but I think I might be the judge of whether this" Damon paused as he appraised the young woman standing next to the girl he was addressing, "youngling is fit to be Drin'far'ji. Thank you for brining her here."
"I am Damon Thresher, Gaidin Captain. You may call me Captain Thresher or Sir if you like," Damon began as he again appraised the young woman before him.
"The life of a Warder is not an easy life, not something to be chosen on a whim. You may be asked to give your life for the one you ward, and you train yourself to face what might come in the Final Battle."
"So what brings you to the Yards, and what makes you think you can become a Warder?"
Then judge me as I stand Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
Amayani felt like she wanted to shrink under the gaze the man gave her, but she tried to hold herself calm outwards as his green eyes measured her. When he addressed her, she dropped in a quick, small curtsey, but she did not speak yet. She felt a knot forming in her stomach as she listened to his words, as the realization of what she was about to sign up for really meant. It would still not be too late to turn back, though she would not. She would not prove the world right, that she was just a little girl, and that her place should be as a doll at some fancy party, like her mother wanted. She would prove them wrong, that she could do this.
Though when the Gaidin voiced the question, she found herself at a loss for words, like so many times, and to her great annoyance. "I.. I want to.." she began and stopped as her line of thoughts failed her again. You can do this, she thought as she cleared her throat with clenched teeth, and with a deep breath she tried again.
"I'm here because I want to become a Warder, because that have been my dream for quite some time now. Not because I think it is some glorious dream, but because I think everyone should be able to give what they can in the Last Battle, if they want. And I don't believe the fighting should be reserved for the men and the muscles. I believe that we girls should be given the chance to prove that we can be more then just a pretty thing at a fancy party." That last bit came out with the sound of bitterness and determination in her voice, and she drew her speech to a hold there before she said something stupid.
Shall you stand my judgement... Damon Thresher
Damon listened as the girl before him extoled her reason for coming to the Tower. A dream to become a Warder, Damon thought to himself, no, more like a nightmare. Damon tried to appraise the feelings behind the words, the mettle beneath the surface of this youth who tried to face him. Damon could feel the discomfort. If that is how she feels before me, how will she stand before the Master of Arms? Nothing of his thoughts were betrayed on his face, as the girl, Amayani, ran down.
"So there is some spit and vinegar in you I see," Damon began, "if you are to become Drin'far'ji, you must know you will be beaten down, broken and then remoulded into Warrior. Then you will be trained beyond anything you can imagine, your body tested and stressed and more. The life of a Warder is not their own, once it is given to their ward. You may never live to see the glory of the Last Battle or the suffering that leads to it, your thread cut short in the weave..."
"Being a Warder is not about muscle. There are Gaidar here in the Tower that I would be very careful to not put one foot wrong in front of, but not just because of muscle, but because they are warriors trained by warriors to protect those who protect this world from darkness. Those Gaidar stand in awe of the ones we are sworn to protect, the Aes Sedai of our home," Damon's face turned back to stone as he realized his facade was crumbling.
"This is what it is to be a Warder, do you still wish to sign my book, the Book of the Drin'far'ji?"
Standing straight Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
Amayani stood straight and as tall as she was, listening to what the Gaidin Captain said. She tried not to thing of her little speech, or meddle with what she'd said and what she could've said different. Those lines of thought always went on and on, and never did any good; they only left her feeling like she'd said everything wrong. Which I probably have. No, no thinking.
Instead she followed the man's words, and let her thoughts wander to what life she was about to comit herself to. She did know that the reality was nowhere like the glorious tales she'd heard from the gleemen, they never were, and that the reality would be a tough and painful one. But she hoped she had it in her to make it, to stand the ordeals she would be facing.
Then the Gaidin Captain voiced the question which she had asked herself over and over again, the final decision. Do you still wish to.. Taking a deep breath, she stood tall and looked straight at the man.
"Yes, I do."
Re: Standing straight Damon Thresher
Damon watched Amayani as he spoke of the life of a Drin. She seemed to try to stand even taller than she was before he began. Those who stand tallest have the farthest to fall Damon thought to himself as he waited for the young woman's answer.
When she answered that she was still willing to sign the book that would allow her to join the ranks of the Trainees, Damon turned on his heels and began to walk toward his office, expecting the girl to follow.
This was her last chance to change her mind, the Power and History that resided in his office, he found, made most who entered there, sign without hesitation.
Inwardly Damon smiled to himself, another warrior to train, another sword to fight the Darkness. Then he frowned, another life to loose at Tarmin Gaidon.
When they reached his office, Damon opened the book. It fell open to the last page with names on it. His name was only a few pages back. He moved a quill and inkpot and sand close at hand and stood to the side to allow the new Drin'far'ji access to sign her name.
Signing up for my doom.. I mean life Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene
When the Gaidin Captain turned around and started walking towards the building, Amayani was at first a little put out, and stood there like a dumbstruck goat. For a couple of seconds she stood like that, until she took to her senses and hurried after the Gaidin, breaking into a quick pace to keep up with him.
As they reached the large building, the Gaidin led her up one floor, and stopped only to open a door before he led her into what had to be his office. She felt it the moment she entered the room, that there was no way she could turn back and leave again now. It was a feeling she couldn't quite describe, but it wasn't a bad one, just determined. She stopped just inside the room and looked around her.
In front of her was an ornate desk, flanked by a bookcase on each side, and a couple of chairs, one placed behind the desk for the Gaidin Captain. There were more in this room, another desk, a quite nice rug on the floor. But what caught her attention the most was the windows. There was one on each side of the desk, colored stain glass windows which portrayed an Aes Sedai and her Warder clad in armor. She had seen beautiful stain glass windows before, but none the likes of these.
Her attention was brought back to the Gaidin as he lay open a book on the desk in front of her, along with a quill and ink. She picked up the pen and held it lightly with her fingers, and dipped it in the ink in a gentle move. Casting a quick glance at the names above, she moved the pen to the free space below the last one, and wrote in calm, fluid letters: Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene and with a little space between: Lugard, Murandy.
