Fanfic:The Once and Future Gaidin
| Author(s) | Andy |
|---|---|
| Character(s) | Alrim Farshera |
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This is a piece of fanfiction. Only the original author(s) or Librarian(s) should make content changes to this page. |
As he sat cross-legged in the Warder Yards there was no denying what its effect had been upon him. He had lost track of precisely how long he had been at the Grey Tower but he was sure that months had passed, it certainly felt that way. Even so, such a fraction of time for a lifetime had served to change him deeply. He was not sure if it was a fundamental change or if what was there now had always been there, if it had merely been exposed by the hacking away, slowly but surely, at his rough personality. He had never been one for values, he supposed, yet now he had them. Perhaps that was more an indication than the rest.
I never cared before, just about where the next ale and pretty rear cam from. Had a few of those here too but…I am different. I am better the thought floated across his mental construct.
Deep breaths and perfect posture outside, mental acrobatics and emotional tearing away at himself within. The Oneness, he was getting better at achieving and maintaining it now. Far from perfect but good enough that he could do it whilst relaxed now. Another change. Small things that had accumulated, day by day, to form what he was now and what he would be in the future. He centered himself as consideration reigned triumphant, considering the tiny little flickering in his mind, feeling the numbness of the void ripple through his muscles and bones. He turned it all in his head, his fears and angers, woes and the rest.
Fears first he told himself, they were once his largest sacrifice to the flame, he allowed a small smile as it barely enflamed it now, he had few fears anymore, he had realised most of them were petty and pointless. A few remained, the chief ones, but he was more self-assured - getting put through the wringer seemed to do that, apparently. That was amusing.
“Feels like I was Drin all along, just needed the mould taken off,” he muttered to himself as he fed the flame his wrath next.
That, too, had fallen of late. Since he had resolved the issues with Viktor decisively, if that’s what knocking sense into him with some wood meant these days, he had been harassed far less and given a certain distance of respect. Or he hoped it was respect, he had been quite hard on the man and the only other thing it might be was fear. He would have to deal with that reckoning one day, if so. Bitterness came next, it was still quite large but not so much as his sadness. Pride though, that was a beacon of light now compared to previously and the most powerful of them all as it was burned away.
The biggest difference, that. I have made something of myself, made friends and done things I would never have thought possible for me to do. I can use a sword better than most in Arafel besides the army veterans and can run for a day without tiring. Fist fighting, check. Discipline…mostly check the list went on and as the last of his pride fractured into mental ash he felt the cold dispassion of the Oneness bloom within.
His eyes opened and reviewed what was happening before him, levering himself up as he did so and coming to his feet. So far, so good. He blinked as he felt the fragile Oneness ripple and wobble, firming it up a bit before walking to pick up a sword lathe and find a free space to opt for attempted improvement. He settled into The Ox Lowers Its Horns and noted there was perhaps better fluidity but not by much. He went through the routine as he had been taught, combining it together to flow as best he could. Not perfect but better each time he tried.
I will be Gaidin and I’m not sure if I care about what father says anymore, doing it for me now. To do something decent and worthwhile the emotive notion flickered and died quickly.
The Heron Wading in the Rushes to Apple Blossoms in the Wind to The Hawk Surveys the Plain. A bit of Cat Crossing the Courtyard combined with The Creeper Embraces the Oak. From there is was stance after stance, it was all they taught him really, stances and guards and so on. Dax had been the only one to teach him actual attacks but he was not your usual Gaidin. He hoped to badger him into more lessons soon, he knew he could learn a bit more from the Tairen scoundrel. He also wanted a little spar with Ravak, if nothing else other than to see how good the man was.
Arrogance, burn it he told himself and felt it die quickly.
He worked through the routine, finally managing to keep a hold on the Oneness until the end but losing it straight after, the mental strain proving harder than expected. He felt it shatter and the truest of realities reassert itself. He was himself again, but better. He was not the same man who had skulked and scuffed across the threshold and tried as little as possible at the outset. He still broke some rules, he knew he probably always would but his intent had transformed. He took a seat to look out across the Yards, eyes shifting to watch the others going about their business.
Did he think he was ready to progress, perhaps. But ultimately that decision was not his to make and he trusted that they would choose wisely, given that he didn’t think they wanted him to fail. Even if they seemed intent on proving otherwise when running him ragged. He ground the tip of the practise weapon into the ground and twirled it absently as he pondered. It was not arrogant to say that he had surpassed many of his peers, even ones whom had been here twice as long as he. Didn’t make him better as a person but it did make his current imposed limits slightly chafing. He was stuck doing the same things over and over.
There is a limit to the amount of improvement I can achieve when kept at the same level. I guess it’s required but doesn’t stop it annoying me he snorted at himself, he was definitely different.
Even a year ago he’d have been happy enough languishing in obscurity whilst getting set meals a day and somewhere warm to sleep. Paks had been right, those were the most important things. Yet here he was, wishing he could do more and try a bit harder. Go out on a journey, send time with actual channellers and see some action - whatever that might entail. He supposed that recent events might count but it wasn’t the same as being out there.
Realisation was the most powerful of tools and he was experiencing it at its purest, lead to gold. Or at least silver. He shook his head and laughed at himself. He would never have predicted this, not in a thousand lifetimes and turnings of the wheel.
“Alrim Farshera, the once and future Gaidin” he leant back and laughed uproariously.
It was going to be an interesting life indeed.
