Fanfic:The Fifteenth Amyrlin Seat

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The Fifteenth Amyrlin Seat
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It was not often that Carraidhin found herself in the Red Ajah Quarters well under the Grey Tower proper, but she had a hope that soon, soon she would not be its only occupants. With the help of a few penitent novices and a soldier, she was able to have at least two more quarters cleaned out and furnished. In the process she also proceeded to update and refurbish the locks on her chosen room as well. With the possibility of having others join her Ajah a few measures would need to be made to ensure her privacy when she wanted it; and when she needed it. Acting as the Keeper of Chronicles this past year gave her some freedom since her raising to the Red only a few short years ago, but now.. now was time to ensure that the legacy she started would continue.

She sat at the hearth of her home, deep in the basement of the Grey Tower, her great room centering right under the grand courtyard above. A rich tea in her hand, Carra sat comfortably in one of the few pieces that was dressed in the fabrics of her Ajah. It was an ornate piece that had showed its time when she had found it. Only a few dents, but it tipped a little and someone had decided that it had worn out its use. Hauling it personally to Hama Valon, she had it repaired and the fabric replaced with a preciously expensive red silk, it now was her favorite piece in her entire great room. Framing the fireplace that held its own private court, the stillness of her home soothed her in a way so few places could. She wondered lightly what it would be like to have others to share this place with. Would it ruin her now comfortable lifestyle, or would it only enhance it? Given the course of her Ajah’s purpose there was little way of knowing.

Her ponderings were interrupted by an authoritative knock on the door and as she called who ever it was to enter, Carra was in for a quite a surprise. In came all three Sitters each of a different Ajah wearing their shawls and best dresses. About to address them, Carra stood formally, about to reach for the Keeper Staff that was always with her, but the Brown only shook her head with a subtle warning. She didn't have time to ask what was going on as one intoned "Carraidhin Glaisne, you are summoned before the Hall of the Tower."

"Ask not why you are summoned. It is yours to answer, not to question."

"Delay not in your coming. It is yours to obey in haste."

"It is well to fear the summons of the Hall. It is well to obey in haste and humility, unasking. You are summoned to kneel before the Hall of the Tower and accept their judgement."

Those were the words of summons to a trial... or to become the Amyrlin Seat. Carra knew this from studying Ceremonies this past year to ensure she become educated quickly for her rank. Problem for her was deciding which one it was. As a Red her time in the Tower always felt like a temporary solution even though she was tolerate by most. Only the most traditional still ignored her completely despite the elevated rank to the M’Hael’s Secretary. A glorified position at best, she had decided. Thankfully none of those traditionalists were Sitters. So Carra was of half a mind to believe she was about to be kicked out of the Grey Tower and in her heart Carra steeled herself away. It had been only a matter of time, although the 5 years since becoming a Red Aes Sedai in the Grey Tower she had expected them to come to some conclusion sooner.

Perhaps it was the support of the M’Hael that made it difficult for them.

Thankful at least that her time here had not been in vain and even if things should go afoul that she had at least tried and the road for the Red Ajah in the Grey Tower had been paved; even if in blood. Her long red curly hair fell lightly from her shoulders as she stood, her dress clean and simple, Carra regretted that her Red Shawl was locked away in her room. The Red Keeper Stole would have to be enough. With the barest of nods she allowed the three sitters to lead her out of the room. Not even in light of a trial and punishment did she look back. Her self discipline allowed her complete anonymity and serene calm flowed as easily through her as it had the day she arrived in the Grey Tower, following them through the Grey Tower. Curious to know how they were able to get a meeting of the Hall of Sitters without her notice. (Perhaps a little too much time in the basements? Riven had been rather encouraging of this, and now it made her wonder. Tricksy Blue.)

It was a closed Hall, and Carra was familiar with the impressive room that was the Hall of the Tower. Today the illustrious room and the serene faced women and men all looking at her unnerved her. The Sitter stepped aside to reveal her and the eldest Sitter spoke. "Who comes before the Hall of the Tower?"

This was it, these were not the beginning words of a trial. Carra was quick in thought as the ceremony jumped to her mind, the realization of its significance nearly floored her. Although if she became honest with herself Carra would have turned right around and walked out. Damn that old man.

"One who comes obediently in the Light", Carra replied with calm certainty, despite the growing irritation towards her future counterpart should this ceremony be of success. Carra was well aware what happens when a nominee for Amyrlin Seat or M’Hael should fail, and she wondered what death wishes the Sitters that stood with her to present her to the rest had. Should this fail they too would be exhiled.

"Who comes before the Hall of the Tower?"

"One who comes humbly in the Light." Carra wondered a moment why her. Why would they place an untried and unpredictable, and certainly uncontrollable Aes Sedai of the Red Ajah; the only one of her Ajah, on the Amyrlin Seat. She was at a loss as to the reasons, and she would certainly let them know she was no puppet or figurehead. She bowed her entire time as Aes Sedai and Keeper, did they think they had her leash?

"Who comes before the Hall of the Tower?"

"One who comes at the summons of the Tower, obedient and humble in the Light, asking only to accept the will of the Tower."

"Who stands for this woman, and pledges for her, heart for heart, soul for soul, and life for life?", The eldest Sitter spoke continued the ceremony.

"I so pledge", the three Sitters that had collected her repeated firmly in unison.

"Come forward, Carraidhin Glaisne", came the command and obediently she walked forward three paces and knelt. "Why are you here, Carraidhin Glaisne?"

"I was summoned by the Tower."

"What do you seek, Carraidhin Glaisne?"

"To serve the Tower, nothing more and nothing less."

"How would you serve, Carraidhin Glaisne?"

"With my heart, my soul and my life, in the Light. Without fear or favor, in the Light."

"Where would you serve, Carraidhin Glaisne?"

"In the Amyrlin Seat, if it pleases the Hall of the Tower."

Then it was time for voting and Carra watched passively to see who would rise to support her. The three Sitters assumed their own places, standing proudly before their seats and their confidence in her was a small comfort. It was at least three pairs of feet that she would not have to wash, and that was a blessing. One in disguise but that comfort somehow made the task ahead of her seem small and childish. Yet as she watched the others of the Hall Carra expected to wash all the feet of the others.

Who else would stand for her? Carra had nothing to her name and had everything to prove. It was a show of humility, but then her entire time as Aes Sedai had been just that, a lesson in humility. One that she would pay easily if just to wipe the smirks off their faces. Fools, putting her in such a position. The Amyrlin Seat, alongside the M’Hael, might be the first among equals with the Sitters but the Hall had the power to elevate her and bring her down. It was silly, but Carra now felt that the day would be all about her washing the feet of those that couldn’t see her as an equal and yet here they were about to elevate her above them.

Carra couldn’t decide whether to keep her serene calm or just laugh at them all. All her thoughts hidden completely from her features and her voice.


The White Sitter was unsure how she felt about the mixture of Ajahs that supported this child for the Amyrlin Seat. She felt that someone more experienced would fit the role better, especially after Amora's successful run. Were it any other, Kaylene Manatt might consider it but this one was headstrong, stubborn and would make decisions without counsel. Most of her Ajah felt that she would need a well disciplined and discerning Keeper of Chronicles to keep her from running the Tower into the ground. A few even tried to round the logic of Kaylene as her Keeper but to that her answer was firm and clear. Logic or not, Kaylene held no desire to be Keeper to a child whose logic seemed to defy her own understanding.

The girl-child came to stand before her. Kaylene had not yet risen up to stand in support but watched the girls impassive face. So young to hold a face so like stone. "Please allow me to serve." Even the girls tone held little humility, but still she allowed Carraidhin to wash her feet. Thoughtful with dark and light notions, she wondered if this child could ever feel the emotions she so excellently ignores. A paradgim that would have been an excellent study in the White Ajah Halls. Pity she chose the Red Shawl, but at least now should she survive the ceremony the could be considered of all Ajahs. And of None.

When all was done, Kaylene stood.


Virya adjusted her shawl so that the fringe laid properly, her lips pursed in displeasure. When Geraine, that fool Brown, had come to her with the necessary two Sitters and had asked her for her support of Carraidhin for Amyrlin, she had calmly poured them all tea. When she had the three of them settled in her sitting room, she had in no uncertain terms, and with just the amount of foul language the situation called for, outlined the nature and depth of their folly. Her support for the Red had not wavered in the years after the girl’s raising, and she had told them as much. To take the only Red sister, who was already balancing two unlikely titles as the First Inquisitor of the Red and the Keeper of the Chronicles, was to, in essence, destroy the Red Ajah before it had even emerged from the womb.

The bloody woman had smiled and drank her tea. Virya had understood them then, much to her own displeasure. They would raise the girl to the Amyrlin Seat, and create a puppet Amyrlin and destroy the Red Ajah in one neat little ceremony.

She had taken their tea and thrown them out of her sitting room. It was good tea, and she was simply not in the mood to watch their smug little lips sip it. Fools, the pack of them.

Virya had moved quickly after that, no matter how much her dreams warned her that it would be of no use. Carraidhin would be Amyrlin. Virya dreamt of the stole of the Amyrlin Seat and fiery red hair. She leapt into the political fray anyways, as if the sheer force of her will could move the Wheel as she wished it.

It had been for naught, as she knew it would be. Virya watched the girl proceed through the ceremony, harrumphing in displeasure at the appropriate moments. She did not stand, if only to be obstinate. The Hall of Sitters might as well be a herd of sheep. Virya quite desperately wanted to shear the speculation and consideration off their fool brained little faces.

The Wheel wove as it willed, but Virya wished it didn’t create so much work and trouble for her. The dastardly little thing was quite the mischief-maker. She would spend decades of her life, if the girl managed to last that long, fighting to keep her out of the wrinkled, sunken hands of the Hall.

She harrumphed again as Carraidhin washed her feet, just to keep the spirit of it alive. Fools. They would break an Ajah if they could, and she feared that it would break the Tower.

But Virya stood anyways, tucking her shawl meticulously into her elbows, and tried not to let her petulance show. The Wheel weaves as the wheel wills, and to have Carraidhin exiled would be a worse fate than even Amyrlin.


The ridiculousness of the ceremony continued, and Carraidhin continued to phrase her incant of a question at the feet of most Sitters in the Hall. Her thoughts towards the men and women in the room remained away from her cold eyes, and yet her very youth still made her feel small. Being born Cairhien meant she was always looked down upon in sheer height, but rarely did she feel small. Even in the room standing as a test of wills against the Mistress of Novices, Aes Sedai and Asha'man, Carra rarely felt small. But as the last woman stood Carra's future and her freedom was ripped away from her and she could not help be feel a certain amount of hatred towards those that nominated her. Could it have been helped? Surely there were many others more qualified to take on this position, but why her? To remove the Red Ajah stain from their ranks? It was a poor way to do it. She would still raise any that wished to take up the cause she started.

Mentally she gave herself a shake. Once again the question was prosed to the Hall. All that had rose, rose again. Those whose feet she washed also rose, though more slowly. The last, a Blue, rose last. It was she, who walked up to Carra and escorted her to the white Amyrlin Seat, picking up the stole and placing it around her shoulders.

"You are raised to the Amyrlin Seat, in the glory of the Light, that the Grey Tower may endure forever. Carraidhin Glaisne, the Watcher of Seals, the Flame of Hama Valon, the Amyrlin Seat." Then she kneeled and slipped on a ring to her finger, one to replace the ring that was lost. This one held only ceremonial significance, and kissed it. "May the Light illuminate the Amyrlin Seat and the Grey Tower."

It was a fraction of a nod to the Aes Sedai, that allowed her leave. "Thank you my Daughter," Carra intoned politely. And she said the same to each that came in line, as set by age with the eldest last. The 'Please Allow me to Serve.' a turn on the ceremony, and to each 'You may serve the Tower, Daughter.' or 'Son.' Down the line they went, and Carra could not help but notice the look of long ages in each, save a few who were nearly as new to the Ageless look as her.

As the Ceremony came to a close, it was Riven, her second half, who escorted her to her new quarters. Giving her a moment to gather her thoughts as he rattled on a little of ceremony. Tomorrow she would choose her Keeper of Chronicles, and the new Amyrlin would be announced to the whole of Hama Valon. Tonight, tonight was a night of reflection and prayer and Carra's first question to Riven before turning in for the night.

"Will you teach me how to Travel."


"A teacher shall be arranged, Carraidhin." The M'Hael promised. While he did find it a curious request, being within these quarters brought other things to mind. His gaze slowly took in the room. He had not allowed anyone within the quarters in years, other than trusted servants to keep it free of dust and spider webs. Amora's old notes were still within the desk's drawers. Her books still on the shelves. Artwork still hung upon the walls. Looking upon a particular piece, he sadly remembered the woman's love of the arts.

He gripped his staff tightly in his left hand, the M'Hael's fang, as he thought of it. The Ter'angreal the only remaining symbol of his office remaining in Hama Valon. It's sibling, the Amyrlin's flame, rested upon the desk once belonging to Amora, his old teacher. He took a deep, steadying breath.

"It's been five years already, since we lost Amora." The Asha'man said sadly, "five years since we lost one of the Grey Tower's founding members." He inhaled, and slowly released the air, focusing and steadying himself. "It's been five years since Hama Valon chose me as M'Hael, five years since you were chosen as the Keeper of Chronicles." Five years of working with this young, hard working, peculiar woman.

"Five years searching for those we lost," he added. "Five years of you diligently serving Hama Valon, helping in it's recovery. Of helping bring some stability to the Grey Tower."

With his words hanging in the air, he walked towards the desk, and laid his symbol of office beside Carraidhin's own. He looked upon both, so similar yet different. "You served Hama Valon well, and will continue doing so." He said, confidence strengthening his words. "You will herald the next chapter of Hama Valon's story." He finished, his back turned to the new Amyrlin.

His fingers gently stroked the White Ter'angreal. Riven turned around, and Shifted his gaze towards the new Amyrlin. His steel grey eyes measured the woman. He knew he had chosen well! She had brought change to Hama Valon via the Red Ajah. If she could manage such a thing, she could serve the Tower quite bloody well as the Amyrlin Seat.

"You are now the Amyrlin Seat, the Mother to all who live within these walls we call home."

Breaking eye contact, the M'Hael walked towards one of the bookshelves, and let his fingers glide across book titles. The memories of the former Amyrlin were difficult to forget.


She was almost scathing with rage, simmering on a cool and dark appearance that only leaked through the tight fist at her side hidden away by the new Amyrlin Stole. A stole made not just because of the eighth Ajah but because the former stole was lost with its predecessor. Riven walked around the room, Amora's room, with an endearment towards the lost and likely now dead former Amyrlin while playing fancy to words he seemed to think that she would want to hear.

"Burn you." The words but a whisper, the rage threatened to boil over yet Saidar far from her grasp. Her anger never did touch her power, rare that it was. "This was to be your legacy, Riven. Now you have upended on your least likely servant in hopes that I would comply." Her eyes dark, and her voice hard like ice and stone. Almost monotone as the rage burned. Carra did not yell and rage, it was not within her capacity of external displays to simply lose that type of control. "Do you think I am grateful for this appointment? That the years of service as Keeper would wipe away the mistrust I brought in choosing an Ajah they all hated?"

Carraidhin wanted to laugh, the sarcastic ring tingled on her tongue but she bit it back. "They will not follow me, Riven. You should have chosen another to let them try to chase around." Light, since swearing her oaths she never left the Grey Tower. Never got the chance to travel the way she had once dreamed about. Now she was bound to this Tower for a lifetime; or until she was disposed or asked to step down. "I don't know how to be an Amyrlin any more than I was taught to be Aes Sedai. Yet again I am put in a position with no mentor." Carra judged him harshly, and rightfully so. She felt a deep injustice was done to her this day. "Unless you can teach me to be Amyrlin."


"The best of rulers are the reluctant ones, Carraidhin." The M'Hael replied cooly. "Your every step within Hama Valon since you have come have marked you as someone who can shape the world as needed." He grasped his wrist behind his back, as he turned and faced the the Amyrlin Seat.

"You do not let tradition dictate your life, nor do you let popular opinion sway your choices. You do as you see fit, for the worst, or for the best. The Blue Ajah courted you, yet you did not let the late Zhao Dun forge your path. The Green Ajah, and all of the others all tried to sway you, yet you forged your own path. You took an idea, an Ajah, and made a place for it within Hama Valon, in spite of customs and traditions. You did what you believed to be right, in spite of the misgivings of your peers."

The woman clearly wanted to laugh. "They will not follow me, Riven. You should have chosen another to let them try to chase around." The Amyrlin said. He simply faced the woman, remaining quiet. "I don't know how to be an Amyrlin any more than I was taught to be Aes Sedai. Yet again I am put in a position with no mentor."

"Unless you can teach me to be Amyrlin."

To that simple enough request, he calmly replied "No."

He faced the woman, silent, yet committed to his answer. The Red Ajah was not to be his legacy, that belonged to the woman before him. No, his legacy would be Carraidhin Sedai, and his own future successor.

As she internally reacted to his answer, he began lecturing the woman who was once Keeper. There was much to tell her, yet so little time to do so. He would give her only enough to set her down her path. She had to forge her own way!

"Many who have come before you, who have come before me. They had followed tradition, at times blindly. They saw custom as an unspoken law." Riven shook his head, having never been a follower of customs. He respected traditions, but was not one to let them dictate his deeds. "While the Grey Tower had grown, it still remained within the shadow of the White Tower. Aes Sedai and Asha'man followed customs and traditions which were not our own. Our growth, with time, slowly stagnated. While yes, it is true that the birth of Hama Valon was a great thing, our predecessors were still caught tightly in the webs of yesteryear."

"The Shadow nearly caused the destruction of Hama Valon, before the city was even fully completed. The Whitecloaks attack from outside our walls, while the Shadow attacked from within. Men, women, and children died. Asha'man, and Aes Sedai, corrupted. The ties between brother and sister, cut. Those threats may have been all eventually been stopped, but it had taken far too long to recover. Once the threats had seemingly disapeared, complacency gave room for corruption to take root."

" Instead of our home growing stronger, it grew weaker." He walked to the Amyrlin's desk, and opened a drawer. He took from within a thick folder, filled with pages upon pages of reports.

"Clerks bought flawed weaponry and tools, weakening Hama Valon's guard. Many within the Blue and Green Ajahs fled, leaving both Ajahs weakened for over a decade." Riven explained, as he placed the folder upon the desk. "So tied in customs, those that remained were blind to the growing corruption. Had the Whitecloaks attacked again, Hama Valon would died, before you were ever born."

While he knew the woman was listening, he knew she was not pleased. It mattered not to the M'Hael.

"You have already proven yourself, having made a place for the Red Ajah within these halls. Doing that, going against the Grey Tower's customs, you proved yourself worthy of the Amyrlin Seat. You simply needed the time to grow, to get a firm grasp of the Grey Tower, to prepare you for this."


Wmmp

The folder of correspondents brought up a small layer of dust as the M'Hael settled it on the desk before them. A good five years of correspondence that she only gleaned should Amora return to the Tower, or another Amyrlin be appointed. There were not just items from her, but also letters from Heads of the other Ajahs and the Warders Yard, and possibly the M'Hael himself. Paperwork was her least favorite part of being the Keeper of Chronicles, although it was a step above dealing with the Hall of Sitters on a personal level. She made a few friends in some but more were unimpressed with the Red Keeper. Carra was still baffled that so many stood for her during the Raising Ceremony.

So close had she been from banishment. So close to freedom. Burn them, taking that away from her too.

The purse of her lips kept her from speaking out while he spoke, perhaps the years of servitude to those above her station in play, or maybe it was out of self preservation. But even as he spoke her mind calculated his train of thoughts, his entire purpose for her being here and Carra felt only a few counters to his argument. "I think you forget, Riven. I have very little love for them or this Tower. I have used them to my own end, which of course meant that I did not follow theirs. Every turn this Tower has threatened to break my will to ensure that I serve." Her hands tugged at the uncomfortable Amyrlin Stole around her shoulders. "They have me serving, but I do not want to give any of you anything. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just hop on a horse and ride out of here. I can't bloody well Travel anywhere." The last a sour note, sore and and almost hurt. "No one trusted me to bother teaching me that one."


"You had the chance to run, Carraidhin" The M'Hael said in return. "Before they brought you to the hall, you had your chance to run. While before you washed their feet, you had the chance to deny the wishes of the Hall. Before you entered this room, you had a chance to reject everything that has happened. Yet you are here, Carraidhin."

He understood how she felt, being put into a role of importance, despite what popular opinion decreed. Soon after returning to Hama Valon, returned from death's cold embrace, his peers had wanted him dead again. Dead and gone! But he had endured, much as this woman will endure. He had been made sitter, in spite of his brothers and sisters within the Justice Ajah's wishes. He had been made Keeper of Archives, in spite of the people of Hama Valon.

He smiled softly to himself. They had embraced him as M'Hael. If they could accept someone who had once been a tool of the Shadow, they could accept her, they would accept her, a revolutionary who had forged her own way. A woman who had been made Amyrlin Seat, despite the misgivings of her peers.

"They could have rejected you, they could have elevated another. They could have chosen someone weaker, easier to control. Yet they chose you, a woman who is stubborn, strong willed, defiant of custom. No matter what those within the Grey Tower say, no matter what ridiculous claims they make. They hunger for change. And, as all of Hama valon, Tar Valon, and the Black Tower have grown to know. You are a herald for change."

Using his thumb, he rubbed the tendons beneath the flesh of his wrist. He could feel cramping within his left hand, cramps that came often now.

If only Carra knew the significance of the work she had done within the last several years! No Keeper before her had ever needed to do as much. None had been trusted with the work that had been thrust upon Carraidhin's desk. Jenna had chosen wisely, a worthy successor. Sighing, he could only hope he could find a man worthy of becoming the Fang.


We made a cut without precision
And we stitched it up the best two children could
But we were ruled by indecision
And we pushed and pulled more than two people should

"No. I did not." Carra's words softened though her rage screamed at her. She was once again angry, yet up until now she had anticipated each step. Had some understanding of what was expected of her, and what rules she could bend or break. Carraidhin had not chosen her Ajah without the research to know that she could do what she did. Even Jenna had been forthcoming on her successor, for that Carra was grateful towards the Green. She appreciated that honesty and even the forewarning.

But Amyrlin.

THE Amyrlin Seat.

Carra felt like she was floundering in responsibility and weight that she could no longer control. She had lost her grip on what she wanted to accomplish and exchanged it for something completely foreign to her. What could she do? What path did she want to take now?

Standing silently as the painful thought hit her like a stone and ice. Was she angry at the Tower or at herself for following so meekly? Had she let her armor stand so firm that she had missed the push to such an elated position? The now former Red was no longer sure.

So do me damage or do me right
We could be the ones who see the other side
So do me damage or do me right
We could be the only lovers left alive

The next few words Carraidhin thought on carefully, her anger still there but the control and years of living so carefully under the thumb of her superiors and peers helps keep her from it getting to close to the surface again. "Amyrlin's and M'Hael's have broken this Tower, and the White Tower by extension. Rooted in tradition, so few like change. I brought an Ajah well hated back into the fold of the Grey Tower and that nearly broke them. There is still a very big divide. I will not be able to fix that chasm, Riven. It is not my job to make them accept who I am, regardless of why they put here. I foresee things growing worse far sooner then better." Although, some of her visions were kinder than others.

Something loomed, and Carra faltered for a moment, a shadow grasping for air and she stood fighting the words that tried to break away. Visibly, it almost appeared that she swooned, catching her self. Her fear of her talent was deeper than her anger. "Burn me.." She whispered. It was a weak foretelling, a whisper that spoke to her and not to the world. Some foretellings spoke of others and she could not hold them in. Others... She would need to push for Livi to be raised so that she could have a confidant in a safer position then as a Novice.

Light, she still needed to choose a Keeper of Chronicles. A replacement.

"Too much. I could have walked away. And I should have," Her voice growing to stone, her features pooling away the emotions to pure emptiness. "but it would seem the Pattern would only find me again and push me back." She glanced around for the closest chair and took a seat, and with it a deep sigh. Carraidhin was not even sure what she wanted to do anymore. That alone made her afraid.

We made a pact and sad forever
Then we blurred the lines so much, we lost our way
We were broken and stuck together
Then we tried to find the reasons we should stay
Do Me Damage - Digital Daggers