Fanfic:The Anguish of Dreams
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The sun was the brilliant gold of a newly minted coin. The wind swept the sweet scent of the family's wheat fields into the house. Aviaine, up to her elbows in soap suds, stopped momentarily, closing her eyes to inhale the beloved scent. The dish in her hand slipped, falling to the floor before her grasping reach could stop it.
"Blood and ashes!" Aviaine swore, her eyes widening in horror. The crash resounded throughout the house, bringing Aviaine's mother, Reina, rushing in from the sewing room, a dark green cotton apron in her hands. She stopped at the sight of the shattered dish at the foot of her only child. Removing the pins from her clenched teeth and placing them into the cloth, Reina sighed. Aviaine's eyes were wide, the scent of wheat forgotten momentarily in the face of such a disaster.
Reina bent down to touch the shards of the dish. "My wedding bowl..." she murmured. Her dark eyes turned to Aviaine, sorrow threaded with anger. Aviaine, the guilt coursing through her, shifted her gaze to the floor. She felt like crying.
"I...I'm sorry, Reina. The wheat smelled so good, and...it slipped."
Reina nodded, her eyes narrowing as she listened. "Aviaine, that's the fifth dish you've broken in the past few months...such a short time. I'm beginning to give up on you."
Aviaine's eyes widened, her mother's words cutting to her heart sharper than any raised voice would. "No, please. I'll focus more. It was just...so beautiful. But please, don't give up on me. I will learn to be a good wife."
Reina stepped forward, reaching to touch her daughter's cheek. "I know you try, darling. And you learn so quickly...everything I've taught you, you remember, and do better than I. Unless it's something which truly requires your concentration, and then you're more likely to stab yourself with the needle than you are to actually sew a dress."
Aviaine listened silently, enjoying the feel of her mother's touch. She could feel the love conveyed through the gesture.
"You're too impulsive, daughter. You live by your emotions, rather than your head, and would much rather do what makes you happy than what needs doing. It's understandable...I used to be the same way. However, just as you must learn to control your mouth," Aviaine smiled, remembering her past blunderings as a result of her failing to think before she spoke, "you must learn to control your thoughts and actions, else you will never succeed." Reina swatted her daughter playfully. "Now, isn't it time you were out in the stable?"
Aviaine paused, surveying the mess of the floor. "Yes...I'll stay and clean up, though. I need to right the wrong I did." She bent down towards the scattered crystal shards, each of which glinted like jewels in the morning sunlight.
Reina put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "No, child, I will clean it. You will most likely forget halfway through and leave a dangerous pile of glass on the floor. I will get the broom...you run out and see your father." Reina swayed out of the room, her blue cotton dress seeming alive with grace.
Aviaine watched her beautiful Domani mother, sighing inwardly. Will I ever be half so lovely? she wondered, looking down at her own blue cotton dress, seeming to Aviaine to be only a pathetic mockery of her mother's finery. She knew, try as her mother would to teach her, that she was a sad example of a Domani girl. Although, in Andor, she was passably believeable as a Domani, she had the inkling that if she were to travel to Arad Doman, she would be laughed out of town at her attempts to be seductive.
Well, what does it matter? Aviaine shook her head, her long brown hair sweeping around her face as she stepped into the sunlight and headed for the barn, where she knew her father would be waiting with this month's items to sell in the Caemlyn markets. I am Andoran...I've lived here all my life, and Andor is my home, not Arad Doman. I'm sorry if I disappoint you, Reina...Aviaine gritted her teeth. I am not Domani...I am not what you want me to be.
She entered the barn, blinking as her vision adjusted to the minimal light, and smiled at the visage of her father. While her mother was Air, ethereal, lovely, angelic rather than human, her father was pure Earth, simple, kind, and understanding. Her father was her confidante.
Staevon, lighted by a lantern containing an almost completely melted candle, indicating the long hours he had spent loading the wagon he was taking to market, held a large basket of turnips. Setting the basket on the wagon, he paused to wipe his brow, grinning at the sight of his daughter.
"Avi!" he exclaimed, striding to her and swinging her up in a sweeping hug. She felt his dark beard on her cheek and, laughing, melted into the hug. Aviaine had little contact with people outside of her mother and father, having spent most of her life isolated on the farm, only seeing others once a month when she accompanied her father to Caemlyn. Her father was her best friend.
"Staevon, is there anything left to load?"
"No, you arrived just in time to be of no use to anyone." Staevon teased, his bright blue eyes twinkling as he regarded his daughter. Her father was the most handsome man alive, Aviaine decided, smiling at his hard-earned muscles. With his quick, intelligent mind and never-failing good humor, it was obvious why her mother had fallen in love with the man. And of course, her father had loved her mother almost upon his first sight of her...no man could resist a Domani girl.
"Why so quiet this morning, Avi? An I going to have to take a whip to you to get you to talk?" Her father's pretended sternness coaxed Aviaine into sunny laughter. Staevon wouldn't hurt a fly.
"No, I was just thinking...Staevon, how am I to marry anyone when my days are spent on the farm, isolated from society? Reina spends such time, training me to be a wife, all the while refusing to face the fact that I most likely won't marry. And I so want to!" Aviaine bit her lip, refusing to admit that she was lonely.
Staevon regarded her, a serious light entering his eyes. "You will do as the Wheel wills for you, child. Nothing more, nothing less." He winked. "So don't worry about it."
Aviaine smiled, reaching again to hug him. "Thank you." she murmured. Suddenly she raised her head, an odd feeling passing through her. This scene seemed familiar...like the dream she had had last night. Remembering the horrifying dream, she cringed, burrowing her head in her father's side. In the dream she had been hugging her father when, suddenly, a hot blaze began out of nowhere, opening a hole in the ground into which fell her father, her mother, her home. She remembered her father's terrified eyes, her mother's screams of fear, as they plummeted into darkness, their hands reaching up toward Aviaine. Aviaine had felt the palm of her mother, had gripped it before feeling the soft skin slip away, had sobbed as she reached into the inky blackness for any remnant of her home. She had found nothing. She had wakened to the sound of her own tears.
Aviaine now lifted her head, alert, knowing what this feeling of familiarity meant. Glancing about the barn, her eyes fell on the lantern that her father had left in the corner near the hay bales.
"Staevon!" Aviaine darted for the lantern, catching it a moment before a sweeping gale of wind caused it to fall directly onto the flammable hay. Trembling, she blew out the candle, scanning the area to make sure there were no other sources of fire nearby.
Her father hurried to her, concern painting his features. "Another dream, Avi?"
When she nodded, his eyes widened as he reached up to scratch his forehead. His tone became serious. "Was the barn going to catch fire?
When she nodded, Staevon shook his head. "I don't know what to say...Avi, these dreams of yours are becoming more and more frequent, aren't they?"
Aviaine remained silent, listening to the comforting tones of her father's voice.
"We'll stop at the palace before we leave the market today, Avi. Perhaps they will allow us to search the library for a book about your dreams. There has to be an explanation."
Aviaine smiled up at her father, relief flowing through her. She was finally going to discover what was happening to her. She was finally going to discover what her dreams meant. Her life would make sense again.
