Fanfic:Poised for Composure

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Poised for Composure
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Part 1

Amadie reported to her next class with ill-concealed excitement. Aes Sedai composure was legendary, and it seemed that the Tower wanted them to start practicing early. Very early indeed, by Tower standards; she had only been a novice for a year. Plus...this class was held in an Aes Sedai's chambers...a White Aes Sedai's chambers. The sheer novelty of it added to her anticipation.

Okamiya ushered her and her handful of classmates in a few moments later, and Amadie realized to her consternation that there was no place to sit. The austere environment clashed terribly with her own preference for rich surroundings. How could someone live comfortably in such a...glaringly white...room? She shifted uncomfortably, and eventually found her way into a corner- a most unlikely place for Amadie Laine, for sure, and yet the only place that did not make her feel like she stood out like a sore thumb.

She found the Aes Sedai to be as plain as her chambers, and as difficult to relate to. White is definitely not for me, she thought with some amusement. However, she forced herself to listen to the woman's dry lecture. Afterwards, she used the board, paper, and pen provided to answer the questions asked- though to her surprise, the answers did not come as quickly to mind as she had expected.

She finally came up with five situations: A Whitecloak discovering her identity, a rural town becoming suspicious of her actions and trying to entrap her, a surprise attack by an enemy as she advised a monarch, an attack by wild animals in the wilderness, and an attack by Darkfriends. After that, she began to think of safeguards.

For Whitecloaks...that was simple. She needed to decide on an escape route, retrieve her mount if possible, assume there would be others waiting to attack once she got past the initial confrontation, and neither eat nor drink anything procured from that town in case of poison.

If a town decided to attack, she would need to decide on an escape route, retrieve her mount if at all possible, and avoid being surrounded.

If she were advising a monarch and there was an assassination attempt, she would need to keep her back to the wall and her eyes on the assailant AND the monarch.

If wild animals approached, she would need to get to higher ground, protect her mount, and keep an eye out for the rest of the pack.

And finally, if Darkfriends attacked...the best safeguard she could have was a Warder (or two, or four), some knowledge of how to use a weapon, and keep her back to the wall.

She wasn't particularly comforted by her ruminations, but she brought it up to discuss with Okamiya. The White didn't have a lot to say about it, as it turned out- she pointed out that protecting her mount in the case of a wild animal attack would leave her open for further attack, and that it may not be possible to retrieve her mount, which meant that in three of the five scenarios would leave her fleeing danger on foot. Blushing, ashamed of herself for some reason, Amadie took her leave.

Part 2

Amadie met the other students out of Okamiya's quarters, but to her surprise, the Aes Sedai emerged and led them to the White courtyard instead. Once there, she immediately launched into another lecture. Better prepared this time, Amadie took her notes carefully with the pen and paper she had brought with her.

The White spoke of intimidation at some length, after demonstrating its effects on a hapless young man who towered head and shoulders over her. Amadie hastily covered her smile with her hand before Okamiya decided to turn her attention towards her. When she heard the assignment, she blinked for a moment, then held up her hand.

"Yes?"

"Aes Sedai, I know of many weaves that might work, but I do not know how to work them. Would an explanation of each suffice?"

"Certainly, child."

She nodded, and while the others spoke -or demonstrated- she considered her options. Finally, it was her turn, and she stood with her hands at her waist.

"There are channelers who can create sky flowers like the Illuminators," she said. "Creating such an explosion of light and sound in the sky would be unexpected but would harm no one. If you then dropped that explosion onto a nearby structure - or just started a fire directly in it without dropping the explosion-, there would be the immediate threat of a fire for them to tend to." She curtsied and stepped back, head held high. A moment later, Okamiya nodded acceptance of her idea, and turned to the next student.

Part 3

The lesson would be in the stable yard? Curiosity piqued, Amadie followed the other students down through the White quarters and out. Thankfully the stables were quite close, and she had arrived to class early. She made it to the new location with time to spare- and then had to wait seemingly forever for the other students to arrive. The injustice of having her own lunch docked due to other people's laziness angered her, but she was wise enough to keep her mouth shut.

She listened to Okamiya's lesson in silence, taking notes. She wondered idly whether the woman realized how funny she was- did she drop those comments on purpose, or did she take herself so seriously that she didn't see her humor? Somehow, Amadie suspected the latter. Okamiya bloody Sedai did not seem the type to joke, even subtly.

Upon hearing their assignment, she bit her lip, dismayed. Amadie had been thrown by a horse as a young girl, and they had terrified her ever since. The idea of trying to reach that cool, calm center where saidar lay while bouncing around on the back of an unpredictable beast was distinctly unpleasant. The stablehand gave her an evil look as she walked up to her assigned animal. "Does m'lady novice need a hand up?" He asked. She gave him a sharp look- servants did not put up with novices being silly, but they were usually at least marginally respectful. After a moment of her level stare, he lowered his eyes.

"Yes, I would." She said calmly. It wouldn't do to be seen scrambling aboard a horse like she might climb a wall. The groom nodded and when she indicated she was ready, he tossed her up.

Once in the saddle her skirts rode up exposing her legs nearly to the knee; blushing, she tried to push them down, but it was a lost cause. Thankfully she was neither the only novice, nor the most attractive novice, in such a predicament; after a moment she gave up the battle and hesitantly kneed the horse towards the gate.

The instructions made sense, and she was just as happy to not move quickly. Her horse ambled along at an amiable pace, and Amadie settled to the task of trying to find that soft inner core of peace where saidar lurked. It should not have surprised her that without peace of mind, there would be no peace of soul; she struggled for what felt like an eternity, and never even got to the point of envisioning a rose. For someone who had long since mastered the art of nearly instantaneous embrace, the experience was frustrating at best.

Finally...finally...after an Age and a half or more -surely her skin was shriveled off her bones by then!- she managed to find a rhythm riding the horse that allowed her to focus within, to relax, and to allow saidar to come to her, filling her with sweetness. She held it to her, both grateful for the comfort and terribly unhappy with the enhanced senses that came with it. She did not enjoy the smell of horses!

She clung to the Source as she returned to Okamiya. If she let go, she wasn't sure she would be able to get it again. Once in front of the diminutive White, she reached for Fire, and attempted to weave the simplest she knew how- a simple flame. To her consternation, the flows were as unpredictable as the horse, flitting hither and thither and yanking out of her grasp with every stray movement.

She struggled...Light, she struggled...for at least a quarter of a bell. Sweat was rolling down her back and she could feel exhaustion's cold touch on her spine beforeOkamiya finally lifted her hand and jerked it sharply to the side in a motion to stop.

"You will practice that, girl. Every day. Find an Accepted or an Aes Sedai to mind you, and practice. If you cannot channel while riding, you are as good as dead. Now go change- your dress is drenched."

Amadie fled.

Part 4

Bloody Aes Sedai is full of surprises, for being so logical and austere, Amadie thought moodily as she followed the rest of the students to the West Infirmary. What could we possibly learn about poise in the Infirmary of all places?

She took the pajamas and changed without comment- and without seeking the curtained off area where the other women went to change. Ignoring averted eyes, she donned the sleepwear, went to her assigned cot, and sat down. Once Okamiya began to speak, however, Amadie had to work hard not to bounce up and down in excitement. This is part of what I wanted Sydias to teach me! She thought, forcing herself to take deep breaths to calm herself as Okamiya demonstrated the weave they were to use. Can I possibly sleep while embracing the Source? Is it even possible?

She found the ward Okamiya demonstrated to be quite simple to construct. She supposed it would have to be, in order to maintain while sleeping. She practiced it several times before she received instructions to lay down and sleep. How am I supposed to do that? But...she found that the training she had been receiving nearly since day one at the Tower kicked in as soon as her head hit the pillow, and she slept.

For once, she slept soundly, with no sign of the odd World of Dreams.

Part 5

Once again, they were redirected to a new location. Amadie arrived exactly on time, and faced off with "her" Drin'far'ji with some curiosity. She listened to the White's lecture with half an ear. Once she heard that all she would be facing was verbal insults, she tuned her out entirely. She had learned how to handle insults at her mother's knee, and the boy in front of her looked liable to vomit from fear.

"I'm not going to attack you," she said dryly. "I will create the wall of Air as requested, but there is nothing you can throw at me that I haven't heard at least once in my life." That did not seem to help matters; he gave her a wild look, and dropped his card from shaking fingers. He leaned down, picked it up, and faced her again.

"How are you ever going to protect your bondmate from Trollocs if you can't even face a novice with dirty hems and messy hair, boy?" Amadie asked. The Drin'far'ji scowled, and his shoulders went back; clearly, he was preparing himself for defense.

Okamiya gave word to begin, and the boy began to read off his insults. Amadie sighed quietly, embraced saidar, and erected the wall of Air as directed. Otherwise, she simply stood, arms crossed, and stared at the boy. That seemed to discomfort him more than the thought of her attacking him with the Power had; she shook her head, and tried not to look too bored.

Finally...after an interminable time...Okamiya waved her hand for them to wrap up. With a sigh of relief, Amadie released the One Power, and departed, leaving her partner glaring after her. Perhaps I made an enemy today, she thought in an oddly detached manner. Boys were so very odd.