Fanfic:Past Forgiveness and a Promise for the Future

From Grey Tower Library
Jump to: navigation, search
Past Forgiveness and a Promise for the Future
Author(s)
Character(s)
Harp-icon.png This is a piece of fanfiction.
Only the original author(s) or Librarian(s) should make content changes to this page.




Torianin watched as the small figure flitted about the room, nervously scrubbing invisible patches of dust with her skirts. Abby was a highly intelligent little girl. She was of mixed heritage, her mother having been a historian from Arad Doman, and her father a successful merchant from Tarabon. Well, he had been successful. Abby had explained that her father was successful until he was swindled out of his money, then…” dispatched.” The girl used very cold language when discussing her father’s death. Her mother, having been uprooted from her home, was at a loss, and then “was lost.” The child divulged even fewer details on her mother’s disappearance…or death. Shortly after having lost both of her parents, Abby was snatched up by a shady group of men and women who sold children as slaves. She was sold to a Kandori merchant who brought her to Hama Valon. The trader was ousted as a darkfriend, and the child was rescued.

She had been staying in the Mar a’Mael for a year before the attacks. Torianin worried about her. She was nearing twelve, and the girl was still not likely to be adopted. She had not confronted her trauma, and resorted to cleaning as a way to keep her mind off it. The Aes Sedai felt a pulse of comfort through her bond with Erishar, along with her Warder’s sturdy demeanor.

The pair of them were in this room, because Abby’s tidying had become obsessive, and with so many children in one place, it was beginning to upset even the older children. The red-haired Aes Sedai had guided the raven-haired girl to this small room, normally used for interviews or private tests, to clean. She scrubbed the desk, she scrubbed the small window, she scrubbed the chair. The girl would have scrubbed the floor, had Torianin not found her a broom.

Abby was a smart child, and Torianin’s presence wasn’t necessarily required at the moment, but when she was in a mood like this one, the child could go days without eating. The child hovered for a moment, in a corner, her head flitting from side to side, her hands making circles without touching anything.

“Abby?”

The pale yellow dress that was beginning to look more and more brown jumped as the girl did. She turned her head quickly, bright blue eyes looking at Torianin imploringly. She wanted to be directed so desperately. To avoid abuse at the hands of her master, she had made a habit of keeping busy. Without someone to work for, Abby didn’t seem to know what to do.

“Yes, Aes Sedai. How may I serve you?” the orphan said as she quickly walked up to the Red and curtsied. Well, she tried too. Torianin caught her shoulders, and when the girl lifted her eyes, green eyes stared into blue.

“I need you to relax,” the Aes Sedai said slowly, but clearly. Erishar had learned that she hid a great amount of worry and fear. Abby’s nerves were effecting her own.

“Relax?” the girl asked.

“Yes. It would help be tremendously, if you took a deep breath…”

Abby gave her an uncertain look, but she did as instructed.

“Let it out slowly…”

The small shoulders in Torianin’s hands sagged a little as she let out the breath. Her charge was not completely relaxed, but she took the opportunity to embrace Saidar and move the other chair to face her.

“…And have a seat with me.”

Abby looked at the seat behind her, then back at Torianin. The caretakers had been taking advantage of Abby’s compulsive need to tidy, not that they would admit it. The girl needed much more care than that. She needed love once more. “Are…Are you sure, Torianin Sedai?”

“Absolutely. I want you to tell me about yourself.” When the girl hesitated, she prompted her again. “Tell me what you like to do…that’s not cleaning.”

The girl gave a smile to that. “When…when I can relax…” she said in a small voice, her eyes looking anywhere but at Torianin’s, “I like to read.”

“What do you like to read about?”

“Oh, anything,” she said with a shrug. “History, language, stories…”

“What are some of your favorite stories?”

“I like to read stories about the Heroes of the Horn…sometimes…” Abby blushed at this and hunched her shoulders. It seemed her appetite for reading came from her mother.

Torianin grinned. “Who is your favorite?”

Abby cleared her throat and hunched her shoulders more. “Birgitte Silverbow.”

The pair talked about stories and histories in such a manner for what seemed like hours. Having come from across the Aryth Sea, Torianin still yearned to learn about this place. History from another perspective was still wonderful to hear about. And talking about the things that she liked to read brought out such a spark in the girl. Abby seemed absolutely captivated by an empire that had followed Artur Hawkwing, even if they were currently attacking. After a while, her shoulders had relaxed, and her smile had come full bloom. A well-behaved girl that enjoyed chores like this…why hadn’t she been adopted?

You could adopt her, a voice said in the back of her head. She could, but…she would need to know that Abby would want to live with her also. If she took a child in from the House of Hope, she wanted it to be done with the child’s reciprocation. Although, with a quiet child like Abby, she might never know.

It seemed she and Abby had run out of things to talk about. Abby tensed up in her chair, not knowing what to do, so Torianin decided it would be good for a change of scenery. The entire Grey Tower was tense, and had been tense for the last couple of days. As she and her charge stood, Torianin could feel Erishar’s mood change. He was alert for the most part, but when it seemed like she was moving, he moved toward her, searching for her. She slowly walked Abby out of the classrooms after letting the caretakers know where they were heading.

Torianin’s Warder met her as she walked down the stairs with the girl. He tried to make conversation with Abby, noting that they seemed to have the same color hair and eyes. Abby smiled at that, but it didn’t seem to last long. The young orphan walked between the Aes Sedai and Asha’man steadily, not shaking, but Torianin could see her eyes dart around, looking for something to fix, something to clean. Her small hands grabbed at her own skirts and fidgeted. Erishar seemed to understand a bit of Torianin’s earlier worries having seen her.

“Have you seen the Grey Tower’s Gardens, Abby?” Torianin asked hopefully, when they made it outside. There was a pause as the three walked toward the Gardens. Looking down at the girl, Torianin saw Abby’s mouth moving with no sound coming from it. The girl watched intently as people moved around the damaged grounds of the Tower. “Abby?” she asked, putting a gentle hand on her back.

Abby jumped again, but Torianin noticed that she clung to her deep red skirts. She felt through the bond that Erishar found that endearing. Once she realized that the hand wasn’t going to hurt her, Abby eased a little. She looked up at the Aes Sedai and gave a polite smile. “I’m sorry. What…um….what was the question?”

“I was asking if you had seen the gardens.”

“Oh. Um…no, but I could see them from the windows in the Tower sometimes.”

"The Gardens were one of my favorite places when I was a novice. I felt I could relax there. It was where I discovered my Talent for Illusion," Torianin said in a friendly voice.

The Aes Sedai and the Warder watched for the child's reaction. There was a small pause, but Abby piped up after a moment. "Illusion is the weave that changes the appearance of something...or makes something appear out of nothing. Doesn't it make things disappear as well?" she asked, looking up at Torianin.

"Quite impressive," Erishar said with a small smile. He was right, though. Most people didn't know much about channeling, unless they studied it. It seemed Abby had been listening to her mentors. She was too young to see if she could channel or be taught now, but perhaps some day...

Abby gave a small smile at the praise, then looked back at the Tower. "I heard..." Abby said in a slight dreamy voice, keeping her eyes locked on the building, "I heard that the rooms where we are...they're not very far from the Library."

The Blue Asha'man's smile turned into a grin. "Is one of your mentors a Brown, by any chance?"

"Yes...they don't seem very interested in me, though. But...I don't say much, so I understand..." Abby turned her head from the Grey Tower and concentrated on the path ahead once more. Torianin would have been lying had she said she didn't sympathize with the girl. Because of her nervous habits and quiet ways, it seemed like Abby didn't have a lot of friends. Her mentors were easily frustrated with what they saw as her ignoring them, despite how intelligent she was. She needed guidance, probably from someone who had gone through something similar to her.

Torianin reached out to her and began to say something when she felt a jolt of warning came from her bond with Erishar. Her Warder took a defensive stance and put his hand on his sword, staring at the sky. Abby froze in place as the Tower began to panic. Explosions from bolts of lightning made her embrace Saidar, and a lot of it. She would not be collared again. Serpentine figures soared through the skies as more strikes hit around the Tower Grounds.

"The Gardens!" she exclaimed. They were almost there, and Erishar seemed to agree that they would possibly hold a tactical advantage. The two started to move, but Abby stayed in one place, enveloped in a world only she could see. Turning back, she grabbed the girl under her arms and threw her arms around her, scooping her up from the ground. The weight of her made her slower, but Abby realized what had happened and wrapped her small arms around Torianin's neck and clung to her. As she ran, Torianin constructed a shield of Air around them, to keep debris and possible enemies from them.

Rejoining her bondmate in the Gardens, Torianin patted Abby's back as she squeezed at her dress. She wasn't crying, but she was absolutely petrified. Nothing but tiny whimpers came from her. "Don't worry, Abby," she said quietly. "I won't let anyone hurt you." As she tried to soothe the child, she kept alert, along with Erishar, using the One Power's advantages of heightened senses to keep a sharp watch around them. The siege had just begun, but she could see a large battle begin to take place at the Tower's gates. She knew that holding as much of Saidar as she was acted as a beacon for damane, but she also knew that it would be much more difficult to shield her if she was channeling. She knew that the raken and to'raken circling the Grey Tower held women who would make captives of anyone in the Grey Tower. Disappearances of people, including the M'Hael and her former roommate, were secrets held from the children.

"Abby..." she said gently as she stroked the girl's hair as she watched a to'raken land next to the Gardens. "I'm going to set you down, but I need you to move with me. Can you do that?"

Abby shook and buried her face in her shoulder, but she felt the girl nod. Slowly, she lowered Abby to the ground, and the girl scuttled behind her, hiding her face in her skirts.

Torianin took on more of the One Power as she felt Erishar’s emotions change to the swirl of confident control he felt when he did the same with Saidin. She knew exactly who it was that was dismounting this beast. Hair the same color as hers, her same height, and a face that now looked exactly like hers. Lumanin had chosen to keep her hair short, like before. She still wore the blue and red dress of a sul’dam. Two damane dismounted after her and walked just behind her, their heads down, the pair of them glowing with Saidar. They had two shields ready, hovering, waiting for a command. “My little Ri…I would recognize you anywhere,” she said in a sweet tone that made Torianin’s skin crawl.

“Erishar, don’t let them shield you!” Torianin shouted as she gathered Fire and Air to create a smallish, but quick Fireball. The flaming sphere hurtled toward the damane. The gray-clad woman pulled the Spirit shield back so that she could deflect the Fireball with a shield of Air.

Glancing over at her Warder, Torianin could see the Spirit shield, but Erishar kept it at bay while unraveling it. She wished for a moment that he could teach her that, but she had a battle to fight.

“Ri, why don’t you come back with me?” Lumanin asked holding out an empty silver a’dam. She felt no fear of it anymore…just hatred. Torianin noticed that her twin bore some unusual markings on her hand, and a little on her face. Pink marks like scars branched out like little trees.

“Ri died when she gave you those scars,” Torianin said, holding firmly to Saidar. Truth be told, the part of her that was Ri kicked and screamed before she was put to rest, and she had left scars on Torianin’s mind, but that was a battle she was used to fighting now. The damane trying to shield her Warder squeaked when her shield finally fell apart. “And you’re a fool if you think I’ll go back with you.”

“Hmmm…” Lumanin looked at her, taking in her Great Serpent ring and her fine, dark red dress. “Red in your dress…you’ve lost that flesh as well. I’ll not have you trying to look like me again, Ri!” The fair-haired damane in front of her wove a set of powerful whips of Air, sending them toward her. She sent back her own whips of Spirit, cutting off most of them. One slashed her face and her shoulder. It stung, but she would live, and she wouldn’t budge. Erishar sent a wave of concern her way through the bond, but she sent him a reassurance through her end. They both needed to stay alert, and she wouldn’t die from this.

“We were born twins, Lumanin.” The sul’dam twitched at that. She could tell that she had made her angry, but she no longer cared. None of the fear and worry that had plagued her in the last few days was there anymore. There was nothing but focus. “And in the time that we’ve been apart, I’ve somehow managed to forgive you for what you did to me.”

Lumanin glared at her for that. “Well, Ri, your sul’dam will not forgive you for the scars you left her!” It seemed Lumanin’s want of revenge was overpowered by her need to take another damane. She saw the quick threads of Air and Fire begin to take their place, but she apparently thought better of it. Two shields of Spirit went toward her. The further one fell apart as the damane in front of Erishar screamed and struggled. Torianin couldn’t see what he had done, but she was thankful as she put up another fight with the thing trying to separate her from the One Power. This time, she threw up her own Spirit shield and struggled against this one.

“I don’t know why you thought I needed forgiveness,” Lumanin said as she began to walk toward Torianin, the empty a’dam in her hand.

“I gave it to you in your absence out of love.” She widened her stance as the sul’dam marched slowly, but surely toward her. “It was mostly for my sake than yours.” She was surprised at how calmly she explained this to her. “I’ll not forgive you if you—“

“No, go away!” Abby’s high-pitched voice wasn’t so small as she threw her small frame at the sul’dam. Her grubby hands pushed against Lumanin’s hips, and the Spirit shield aimed at Torianin faltered for a moment. She slammed her own shield over the damane and held it firm as she fought against it. Thank you, little one…I know it cost you a lot to do that. A split second later, she dipped down and grabbed Abby around the waist, trying to pull her away from Lumanin, who had grabbed the girl’s arms. I’ll keep my promise.

Lumanin looked at her sides. One damane struggled against unseen binds of Air, and the other whimpered as she tried as hard as she could to break through the shield. “Shall I test her?” she asked as she let go of one of the girl’s arms to take hold of the a’dam. The twins were too focused on their own interaction to notice one of the a’dam go slack. A faint screaming was heard, and Torianin could not tell if it was from happiness or despair.

Torianin held the shield down, but any focus she had on the damane she had faced disappeared. Any forgiveness she felt for her sister evaporated as she brought the collar up toward Abby’s throat. “Lumanin, I swear by the Ajah that I chose and the lives of the women that you took, this is not a threat. If you touch this girl with that vile thing, sister or not, twin or not, I’ll kill you where you stand.” Had the Three Oaths been graven on her bones, they would not have reacted. She felt this truth to the tips of her long red hair.

For a long moment, two pair of identical green eyes stared at each other, daring the other to move. Lumanin suddenly let go of Abby’s other arm and lunged at Torianin with the empty a’dam. The desperate ire in her eyes matched the intricate scars on her face that the lightning had left. The Red Aes Sedai reacted out of rage that had been so hot that it cooled to a calculated plan. She leaned away, shoving Abby to the side and away.

Torianin lifted a hand toward Lumanin as she lunged toward her, the a’dam now resting on her neck, still open. Her hand connected with Lumanin’s waist, gently. She channeled Fire, directing it toward her hand, as her eyes were still locked with her twin’s. She made the Fire thicker and wrapped it around the sul’dam’s middle and began to squeeze.

Her twin took a moment to react. When she finally realized what was happening, she began to scream. Her dress began to burn away as she moved away, still desperately trying to close the a’dam around Torianin’s neck. When the a’dam fell away as she fell to her knees, Torianin motioned for Abby to follow her as she moved to the damane still collared, trying to turn the child’s eyes from the dying woman. She was screaming too, holding her middle. She was screaming much louder than Lumanin. Damane could feel the pain of their sul’dam, but much worse. The other woman’s voice was beginning to fade away from use, and she was beginning to pass out from the pain. Torianin moved behind her, and with the deft movements she had learned from Illyria, she moved the cogs and clicks of the contraption until it opened. The fair-haired woman fell to the ground, weary, breathing hoarse.

Looking toward Erishar, Torianin saw him picking up the struggling woman he had freed. She looked behind her, and saw her twin, smoldering again. She did not move. She did not breathe. I’ve killed my twin… Lumanin may not have considered her a sister after the a’dam had fit her neck, but Torianin had held on to the bond. “I cannot carry them both,” her Warder said, bringing her attention back to the situation.

The woman on the ground had now closed her eyes, and she was no longer fighting against the shield. “Is…is she…?” Abby began to ask, her voice tiny again. “No, she’s breathing. I’m glad you weren’t…” The girl tightened her grip on the Aes Sedai’s skirts.

“I’m glad I wasn’t as well,” Torianin said with a smile as she dissipated the shield. Quickly, the Aes Sedai rushed to Lumanin’s body. She could feel the questions in Abby’s silence as she took the bracelet’s from her twin’s arms. She wouldn’t let these be used again. Running back to the other woman, she gathered the unconscious woman in Air and elevated her above the ground. Explosions and violence thrummed as the Grey Tower fought off the threat of the Seanchan. “But now, we need to find cover.” As she and her small company moved toward the Grey Tower to save the damane and shield Abby, she looked down at the wound that her sister had given her. It wasn’t deep at all, and it was only slightly red. She wouldn’t let it scar, though.