Fanfic:Ninya's Return
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The Wheel of Time turns, Ninya Evoneigh thought, staring down the hill at the sprawling city of Bandar Eban, All that once was is forgotten, faded into history to become myth, then legend, and eventually fade into nothing more than a few unrecognized symbols. She shifted her grip on the reins of her horse, the blue gloves that covered her hands drawing her attention for a bare moment before her gaze returned to the city before her. What will be remembered of my life in a hundred years? five hundred? a thousand? It was a thought as melancholy as the gray landscape before her, as chill as the wind that cut through her thick woolen cloak as if it did not exist.
In the city below, Ninya knew her mother lived in style, a lady of the court, a woman of power and prestige. Lady Rivana of House Mirzani. After becoming an Accepted, Ninya had done some quiet investigation. The Lady had been present in the third arch of her test, and Ninya did not believe in coincidence. Upon finding that both Lady Rivana and House Mirzani existed in Arad Doman, and that Rivana had vanished inexplicably for some time as a young woman, she had found herself absolutely certain that the Domain woman was her mother.
It had been some years before Ninya could get away from the Grey Tower to find out for sure. She had been made Mistress of Novices within months of reaching the shawl, for reasons even she could not understand. She had carried out the duties required of her, and had even found joy in the small accomplishments she achieved, but her mind had been elsewhere. Something within Ninya Evoneigh needed to find her mother. And thus it was that, ten years after achieving the shawl, she had resigned from her position and left the Tower. She had not had any specific plan to return; as an Aes Sedai, she could go whither she willed, and the appeal of exploring the world sang in her young bones.
She needed to meet Rivana, and yet fear of doing exactly that had kept her away from Arad Doman for nearly fifteen years. She had traveled from country to country, taking notes of local culture, assisting with small disputes, and learning, always learning. She had found herself questioning her choice of Ajah on several occasions -usually upon forcing herself away from some long forgotten cache of dust-covered books- but had, on each occasion, been reminded of her reasons for choosing Blue within days of her uncertainty. Justice. Justice, fairness, and righting wrongs. Those things surmounted everything else in the world to her. Saving a servant girl from an unfair beating had cleared the last remaining webs of doubt from her mind, and she had left that village, the girl in tow, with a clearer mind than she had had in years. The servant girl had left her in the next city, finding a job at a local tavern. Ninya had wished her well and moved on, her wandering feet and fearful mind carrying her south, rather than north. It had taken another five years after that for her to finally turn Toh -her horse- towards Bandar Eban. It had taken several weeks, even with the ride she had gotten on a river trade boat, to get there.
And now the city lay before her, and it contained the key to the puzzle of her past. Some amount of time passed before she finally heeled Toh onwards, deep blue cloak billowing behind her. If she did not move quickly, she might lose her nerve. Years had already been wasted; in an Aes Sedai's life span, fifteen years was not that long and yet Ninya knew she could not lose anymore. She had other things to do, and an obligation to the Tower that had pulled her out of the street that could not be ignored any longer. So Toh galloped, and somehow Ninya found comfort in the cold wind on her face.
The ease with which an Aes Sedai could attain access to the highest of places in any country, no matter how unwelcome they might be, still astonished Ninya. Arad Doman proved no different; upon seeing her ageless face, the guards had bowed and let her through, stammering greetings and telling her disjointedly where she might find sustenance, a place to sleep, and an audience with the king. The Blue sister had no interest in the king, in food, or in sleep. She dismounted in the courtyard, and turned the reins of her horse over to a stable hand before gliding -Light, how long it had taken her to perfect that perfect movement- through the massive foyer and into the palace proper.
The first maid she saw dropped a curtsy that nearly ended in disaster; Ninya waited silently for the girl to regain her balance, and then asked, "I seek the Lady Rivana Mirzani," she said, her tone impassive. "It is imperative I speak with her immediately."
The maid gaped at her for a moment. "She would be in her chambers at this hour, Aes Sedai. I will show you?" She turned and scurried away without waiting for a response; Ninya sighed inwardly and followed.
As she walked, she contemplated how much the time she had spent first as Mistress of Novices, and then as a traveler, had changed her. She had been a young woman who blushed when her friends curtsied to her because of the shawl on her back. Now...now she was undeniably Aes Sedai. The thought disturbed her even as it strengthened her; with the blue flame that showed her Ajah on her cloak, and the golden serpent on smallest finger, she outranked everyone outside the Grey Tower...and that alone gave her the confidence to continue. She still had her weaknesses. The thought of meeting the woman who had abandoned her as a child made her knees feel like jelly, for instance. However...somehow, some way, she had learned to control her fears, to channel them to good purpose.
The walk seemed, like the Wheel, to have no end, but eventually the servant girl stopped short in front of a magnificent set of carved double doors. "These are her chambers, Aes Sedai." She curtsied again, and this time managed to remain upright. "Do you want me to announce you?" She sounded like she would rather be a thousand leagues away, and Ninya, despite her blank face, could feel nothing but sympathy.
"No, child. I will introduce myself. May the Light shine on you." The servant ran.
That left Ninya alone in the corridor, facing a span of wood, the only thing separating her from Rivana. She embraced the Source as she stood there, allowing the sweetness of saidar fill her, strengthen her, and clarify her thoughts. Still holding it there, she reached up and pushed the doors open with both arms, striding through as if she owned the entire palace.
Within the room sat a Domani woman in a deep green gown. The folds of silk hid only the bare essentials to maintain modesty; every breath she took -and she took several, sharply, as Ninya walked in- made the cloth shimmer and shift. Long locks of black hair were piled atop her head, held in place by several lengths of pearls and a number of small silver ornaments. Her face, artfully painted, held both age and beauty and its copper tones glowed in the lamp light. Eyes the same shade of green as Ninya's own fixed on the Aes Sedai's face.
"To what do I owe this pleasure, Aes Sedai?" Rivana asked, as if she had not been interrupted without warning. She carefully placed a leather marker in the book she held, and set it on the small stand beside her chair, then rose. A graceful curtsy that somehow made her dress even more scandalous soon followed, and then she simply stood there, hands clasped at her waist.
Ninya stared at her for long moments without saying anything, simply observing the woman that she had hated so strongly as a child. The hate had subsided; now a simple burning curiosity remained. "Why did you leave me?" hovered on the tip of her tongue, but that was not a question an Aes Sedai would ask. Instead, she simply moved to the chair opposite Rivana's, and sat. A flow of Air pulled Rivana's tea tray towards her; she fixed herself a cup of tea as the silence lengthened, Fire weaving to heat the water even as she stirred it with her spoon.
"When you were young...perhaps sixteen," she said finally, her tone slightly cold, "you had an affair with a man that your family felt would be an unsuitable match." The Domani lady's jaw dropped. Before she could say anything, Ninya continued. "This man was from Tarabon. He must have been a merchant, or even a lord. No matter his status, as a Taraboner he would have been worthless to the high court of Arad Doman. He seduced you, made you believe he would give you the world in a sea shell. In the end, he vanished in the night, and you found out some months later that you were with child."
"How-" Rivana began, and Ninya could see the sweat gleaming at her temples. She cut the lady off once more.
"You had discovered your condition too late to take birthsbane, so you went away to hide your shame. You gave the girl you gave birth to, to a farmer who lived on Almoth Plain. Then you went back to your life in the courts. You found a suitable man to marry, who would strengthen Mirzani's connections, and you did so. You had several more children, all of whom have been successful in court intrigue, and who have found matches to suit them. Your life, by the standards of the court, has been excellent."
She took a sip of her tea. "The farmer you left your child with abused her," she continued, still holding the cup in her hand. "He and his wife used her as free labor. From the time she could walk on her own, she did all the unpleasant chores around the farm. When she got old enough, she took over care of the house, of meals, of much of the actual farm work that fed the family. She was beaten, she was ill fed, she was ill kept, and she was ill educated. She did not learn there is such a thing as compassion until she was nearly fifteen, my Lady."
Rivana had paled, and her eyes had closed. Ninya continued, relentless. "She ran away from the Hartfords' farm at the age of ten. She went to Katar, where she fell in with a street gang. Four years later, an Aes Sedai from the Grey Tower passed through, and happened to feel a woman channeling nearby. It was your daughter, seeking to protect her gang from intruders as they rifled a merchant's wagon. This Aes Sedai took your daughter to the Grey Tower, where she trained her ability to channel. Some years later, she was raised to Aes Sedai. Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah."
Ninya stopped, and the silence hung like a velvet curtain between them. A velvet curtain that hid knives. She set the cup down, and the click it made as it hit the saucer rang like a thunderclap. "The question I must ask you, mother, is this: How can you live with yourself?"
To that, Rivana had no answer; Ninya had not expected one. Someone so self centered would never admit she had committed a crime. After a short exchange of formalities, the Aes Sedai walked out of the room with light steps, and the Lady sat in her chair like a stone, her book and tea forgotten on the table as she stared into the night.
Once again, the Blue Aes Sedai sat atop Toh, overlooking a city. This time she looked over the shining streets of Hama Valon as they lay in the afternoon sun, with the long shadow of the Grey Tower falling to the east, hiding a portion of the city from the sun. The sight of the city filled her with an absolute joy that stunned her. This is where I belong, she thought, staring down at it with hazel eyes that were completely clear of doubt and fear for the first time in her life. No one can take this away from me.With a laugh that only the wind heard, she spurred her horse onwards.
It was time to go home.
