Fanfic:Ayden's Three Arches
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The First Arch
The room's air was full of the moans and cries of injured men and women. Ayden leaned over a soldier, with a sewing kit in his hand, looking determined as he began sewing the man's side wound where he'd taken an enemy sword. Ignoring the sweat beading on his face, Ayden worked carefully, assistants holding down the wounded soldier as he suffered through the pain.
Their infirmary had very few Aes Sedai who could heal, and they were given the worst cases. The ones who could be saved through mundane means were expected to do so, which is why, as a field medic, he was assisting after the fighting with patching up the wounded. Ayden's back started to cramp a little as he tensed while holding the needle steady. He needed water, but he wouldn't be able to rest for a while yet.
A few minutes later, hands now shaking after the fact, Ayden took a few moments to gather himself as he surveyed the room. Most of the soldiers were being taken care of. They were lucky. Pirates had attacked a cargo vessel and had boarded, but there were very few casualties, the soldiers on the Mayene vessel and its escorts had successfully beaten back the attack.
"Ayden!" A voice called from near the back of the infirmary. Jerra looked concerned as she locked eyes with him, motioning him to come quickly. Alarmed, Ayden dropped his tools and made his way through the lowered chaos of the room. "What is it?"
She hesitated, torn between wanting to tell him and not. Ayden made a gesture with his hands for her to just say it already. "It's Matthias… he's not good. He's asking for you."
Ayden's heart fell, his face draining of blood. Matthias was an old fling, one of Ayden's first. They'd grown up in the same town together and had a friendly, usually casual, on again, off again relationship. Over the years Ayden realized he had started to develop more serious feelings for the man, but he had been afraid to ruin their ‘fun' and was afraid to get hurt if Matthias hadn't returned the affection.
Be steadfast. The way back comes but once. Ayden looked around, confused at the voice he'd just heard. "Ayden, did you hear me?" Ayden looked back to Jerra and nodded. "Take me to him."
As he turned to follow Jerra into one of the cordoned-off rooms, something silver caught his attention in the corner of his eye. He suddenly remembered why he was there. He knew in that moment, he had to choose. The man he deeply cared for… or his duty to the Tower.
The logical part of his brain knew that Matthias was already dead. He had died before Ayden had come to the Tower. He looked from the arch to Jerra walking away, time seeming to slow. His heart felt like a dagger had gone through it, but he knew what he had to do. He pictured Matthias' face and gave him a silent goodbye in his heart. Ayden ran to the arch.
The Second Arch
Ayden quickly ducked behind a bookshelf. The library bustled with activity during an open time for most learning ranks of the Tower. Ayden peeked around the corner and saw that the person he was avoiding was still coming towards him. He went down the row of books in the opposite direction. When he reached a break in the rows, he hid with his back to the short edge of the bookshelves, willing him to leave the Library. Ayden had errands to finish, and he didn't need this right now.
"Who are we avoiding today?"
Nearly jumping out of his skin, Ayden at least managed to not yelp in surprise. He turned to see a short, thing, bespectacled young man sitting in the middle of the next row, a large tome, ink and quill, and various pages of notes sitting around him in meticulous order.
"Light! Hey, Quinn," Ayden took a breath to steady himself while Quinn chuckled. "How long have you been sitting there?"
"Long enough to see you hiding from someone. Who is it this time? A Warder in training that didn't like your appreciation of his shirtless training session? Another Tower official way outside your league that you managed to anger?"
"Who? Me?! What kind of miscreant floozy do you take me for?" Ayden put his hand to his chest in mock indignity. Quinn simply rolled his eyes and that said enough. The young Dedicated, aspiring Brown, and Ayden had become friends the first time that he had needed to hide in the stacks.
Ayden chuckled, sliding down to the floor to take a seat across the row from his friend. His errands could wait a few minutes, and the guy he'd been hiding from had left the Library already. "It's worse than all the things you mentioned. This one actually wants… commitment." Ayden's face contorted slightly at the last word as if the taste of it was too much for him to spit out.
A puzzled look came to Quinn's face. "Umm, isn't that the point of dating and courting? To find someone you want to be with?"
Ayden snorted at the notion. "Maybe when I'm forty or so. Quinn, we're going to live a long time, assuming we survive the Last Battle anyway. What's the rush? Why tether ourselves to someone when we can have fun instead?" And why tether yourself to someone when you're going to lose them anyway? A voice in the back of his head whispered bitterly. He ignored it.
Quinn shook his head and looked back down at his book, but replied anyway. "Perhaps for companionship, love, trust, a confidante?"
"That's what I have you for, Quinn! You're my confidante." Ayden said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Quinn gave him an exasperated look. "You're not my type."
Ayden grinned at him, "I'm everyone's type," he said with a wink.
That finally got a laugh out of Quinn, as Ayden expected. "You're just terrified of commitment."
Unfortunately Quinn's assessment was a little closer to the truth than Ayden cared to admit right then, and the part of himself that agreed was pushed to the back of his mind.
The reality was that Ayden was terrified of being alone, but in his crazy way he compensated by pushing people away before they could reject him. The good ones left you in the end anyway. Either through death or finally realizing you weren't good enough for them. He was lucky to find friends like Quinn, who put up with him no matter his shenanigans.
The bell tolled and Quinn started gathering his notes and folding them into the tome he'd been reading. Quinn smiled as Ayden helped him up. Even though Quinn liked women, he was really the closest thing Ayden had to a best friend, and he liked that. Quinn looked at him as he stood, "Come on, floozy, let's go get some food."
Ayden chuckled and started following him out of the Library. Off to his left, though, in the middle of the now mostly-empty Library common area, was a glowing, silver arch. A hollow pit formed in Ayden's stomach. None of this was real… though it felt that way.
He looked at Quinn walked away towards the Library exit, and the back to the arch. Back to the real Tower where Ayden had no such best friend, no confidante. Just a lot of people who didn't understand him.
He wanted to follow Quinn, to have that bond, no matter it not being real.
Be steadfast. The way back comes but once.
Ayden heard the voice reverberate through him, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. With visible effort, Ayden turned around, turning his back to Quinn. His life, his duty, was at the Tower. He would make the most of it, make the best of it.
He walked through into the light.
The Third Arch
Light seared into Ayden's eyes as the black hood was taken off. He reached for the source but hit a shield instead, one he was unable to break through. He looked around the room while trying not to panic, his heavy breathing coming only through his nose as his mouth was gagged with bands of Air. His hands were bound behind his back and he was seated in some kind of wooden chair.
All he could see were bright orbs of light floating in the dark room, dazing him and keeping him from being able to see much of anything. He was still dressed in his Asha'man's garb, pins and Yellow cord all in place.
He could hear and sense someone standing just behind him, and felt a man's hand straighten his mussed hair, with almost caring affection. He was puzzled until the man walked around in front of him and took a seat in another chair Ayden couldn't see.
Eyes starting to adjust to the light, the man's face came into focus and Ayden recognized Fyn sitting across from him. A man he once loved. One he still might love, if he was being honest with himself. Fyn was also a Yellow Asha'man, though right then he was dressed in dark, non-Tower clothing. "Ayden, Ayden. You should have minded your own business. I hate that you've put me in this situation."
Ayden tried to respond but it just came out a muffled, annoyed series of grunts.
Fyn reached over and tried to brush Ayden's cheek and made a shushing noise, but Ayden recoiled away, moving his head out of Fyn's reach.
Fyn gave a sad smile but looked accepting, like he understood. "You've put me in a precarious situation, trying to infiltrate the Black Ajah here at the Tower. Those that I report to want you dead. I managed to convince them to let me try recruiting you first."
Ayden snorted and tried to give him the verbal equivalent of the middle finger in return, but it was lost in the gag. Fyn made a gesture to someone else Ayden couldn't see, and the gag dissolved. Ayden coughed before getting some good air in and clearing his throat. How long had he been here?
"As I was saying, you can go" Ayden began, but Fyn cut him off with a finger to his Ayden's lips. "Careful Ayden, what you say here cannot be unsaid, and I'm not the only one listening."
Ayden's eyes widened with disbelief. "Are you serious with this? First off, don't touch me again. Second, give me one good reason why I should even consider anything you want to tell me while you have me bound to a chair and shielded. That doesn't exactly scream trust."
Fyn grinned at him, the same innocent and devious at the same time grin that had first caught Ayden's eyes those years ago. Ayden looked away, not wanting to deal with that particular conflict of emotions right now. "I've give you a few. First off, you'll be alive. Secondly, we could be together again. Third, and most importantly to you, I know, is that you would be truly free again. Free of the oaths, and free to leave the Tower."
Ayden turned to look back at Fyn. Fyn really did know where to cut and which pressure points to use. Years of intimacy really did expose your weaknesses to a person. Ayden would be lying if he weren't torn in that moment. He definitely didn't want to die, he'd wanted Fyn to take him back for years and had never understood their breakup, but now he did.
The last bit was the real crushing point. Fyn knew him well enough to know that he had been chafing under service to the Tower. He loved his studies in Healing and helping people, but the politics, conniving, agendas, manipulation, all of it was like being strangled by thousands of tiny cords. Could he truly be free?
He entertained it for a few fleeting moments, before he recognized the obvious lie. Tempting though it was, he would be simply trading one cage for another, the latter being in service to the Dark One. Nothing about that would be truly freeing.
Fyn could see the wheels turning behind Ayden's eyes. He'd always been fairly easy to read, no amount of Asha'man decorum and training would ever really change that. Ayden decided to bluff and maybe figure out a way out of here. "What would I have to do?"
A wicked smile came to Fyn's lips. "I knew you would see reason. As much as I enjoy seeing you all tied up like this," Fyn said as he waved his arms, Ayden's bonds and shield disappearing," this decision must be made freely. You must dedicate yourself to the Dark One. Kneel and accept his love and power."
Ayden stood and stretched some of the soreness from his muscles. He reached out with his thoughts and felt saidin but didn't seize it. He knew there was at least one other channeler present, and the two could likely subdue him, powerful though he was. They would be ready for him. "Kneel and accept your freedom, lover. Come back to me." Ayden stared at him, wondering if Fyn could be saved, brought back from the darkness or not.
This time when the arch appeared, just to his right, he wasn't unprepared or unwilling. One's duty to the Tower was a burden, to be sure, but it was his life and he would accept it, no matter the costs. Any other ideas of freedom and love that would try to lead him from here were all facades. Ayden winked at Fyn and jumped through the arch, back to reality.
