Fanfic:Alizandrine's Three Arches

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Alizandrine's Three Arches
Author(s)
  • Talia A'Roihan (player)
Character(s)
Harp-icon.png This is a piece of fanfiction.
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First Arch

The way back comes only once...

No, Ali Taera thought. No, I will return. Once I am Aes Sedai and there is time, I will come home. I will give up much, but not my family, never my family.

Riding home seemed wrong, somehow, only a few hours into the trip she had meant to make in secret, yet the feeling at turning her horse... Pure relief. Odd – she saw herself riding on, never looking back, overcoming the stab of regret and guilt that had come on so suddenly. She saw it in her mind's eye, down to the last detail, yet here she was, minutes from what would have to be a short reunion.

She left them in the dead of night, silently, only a note left to explain that she had to follow her path, The Dream had convinced her of it. She was meant to be Aes Sedai. She was meant to ride to the White Tower, to serve in the last of peaceful days, and if it meant giving up on the easy, joyful days among her beloved, so be it. Still, her mind insisted, didn't they deserve to hear it from her own lips? Could she really ride away like a thief, stealing their peace of mind? No. They deserved better, they were owed much more.

This is wrong... There is something very wrong about this...

"Who said that?"

She stopped, looked around, hand on her brother's sword. (Light, and she would need to explain that, too, wouldn't she?) There had been a voice – soft, kind, so distant... But she had heard it.

Go back. Don't look. Just go... Go to the Tower... Close your eyes to this and never open them again...

But she did open her eyes. A resolute, confident girl, a child, still, opened her eyes, and regret turned to a sickness that started in her heart and spread to the rest of her.

A plume of delicate smoke rose into the air, marking the beginning of a nightmare. She could hear shouts, echoing to her even here.

Do not lie to yourself, Ali. Shouts would not reach you. Screams would...

She dug her heels into the horse, Sebatan's horse (another thing to explain), and leaned into the animal's thick neck, as close as she could possibly come to being an arrow in the early morning, nocked and shot at its target – home.

For a moment, she wished that she had closed her eyes, as the voice suggested. It would have been far kinder. Their home – their lovely, solitary home was burning, surrounded by...

Light, can those really be trollocs? Not now, not in this age.

But they were. Those were trollocs throwing their furniture from windows spewing thick, gray smoke. Those were trollocs standing over...

This time, she did close her eyes, her stomach seizing. Over her father. That was her father, on the ground. No... No, no, no, no, no...

Her hand found the sword, again, seized it so roughly her palm would begin to bruise later in the day.

"Not my home. Not my family!", she cried, raising it, and the trolloc turned, fixed its unnatural eyes on her...

Her father turned over, fixed his eyes on his only daughter, and, Light of Lights, reached for her.

"Don't go."

"Don't go.", the trolloc mimicked, stepping forward, "Don't go..."

"No.", Ali snarled, "No, I won't go..."

But her attention was drawn away. At her side, suddenly, a door cut into an impossible piece of space, cut right into the fabric of the world, itself, and her memory returned...

The Tower. Her promise, her path. The Dream.

She wavered between the door and the trolloc for an eternity, always expecting the door to simply seal itself and make her decision for her, and it nearly did. The door flickered, called to her.

One last chance...

With a cry, she threw herself from the horse and through the door, aware that somewhere she was shouting, asking the Aes Sedai to please tell her that it had only been a dream, not what had truly happened.

It did know her fears...

Second Arch

For what is...

"Pardon, Alizandrine Sedai?"

Alizandrine snapped out of her reverie and clapped her hands, firmly, looking over her students.

"That will be enough for today. Collect your things and be ready to discuss tomorrow. Along with the facts of at least three cases, I would also like an analysis of the tactics used to take each of the three Gentled men. If you are to join us...", she said sternly, fixing her eye on a brunette at the front, "... then you had better be ready to do our work in the world. Now, go on. Dismissed."

Alizandrine Taera Sedai of the Red Ajah straightened her shawl, shaking her head in disapproval. Each new group of Accepted seemed so ill-prepared for the challenges of becoming Aes Sedai, yet some were raised each time, and they did well enough. Surprising, sometimes, given their performances as Accepted. Her books in her arms, she made her way through the halls, nodding at some who passed, offering a quick word with others. Strategy mattered in the White Tower. She learned that in the long years that passed since her arrival in Tar Valon, along with the fact that the will of the White Tower was absolute.

She came a silly girl, full of dreams and false ideas, ready to jump into the Green Ajah straightaway. She would tumble with the Warders, speak in the Hall, and fight in the last Battle itself... A smile played over her stern lips at the very thought of it. It had not taken many years before the idea of being Green had been squelched by Elanna of the Red, who had taken it upon herself to purge the girl of the ridiculous dreams she insisted she had. Before the ring was placed on her finger as Accepted, she had promised the Aes Sedai that she would become a Red, no matter that The Dream still existed at the back of her mind. Why she had done so so quickly, Alizandrine did not know, but all had turned out well. A Green with an army of Warders following her... Light, what an idea.

Instead, she found herself one of the few Red Sisters who Bonded, something that met with severe disapproval by Elanna, until she had been allowed to approve of said Warder, who followed his Aes Sedai even now, as far away as possible, as they had agreed at their Bonding.

He remained outside her door while she worked, a giant of a man, as silent and stony as a mountain. Gorgian, an Andoran. He had served her well through the chaos of False Dragons that had settled over the Red Ajah like a storm, and was conveniently silent in all matters except for battle.

Why did you allow that woman to bully you into this choice, into this man?

Alizandrine straightened, putting down her quill, annoyance passing over her features. What was that?

You allowed her to force you from your path. You allowed her to make you forget The Dream. You allowed her to do something awful to you, unknowingly. You were a fool, Ali.

A soft voice, from the very walls. She rose to call for Gorgian.

Alizandrine, she thought, I am Alizandrine Sedai of the Red Ajah...

You are Ali Taera, and a shameful one at that. How could you allow this?

Alizandrine opened her mouth, reaching for the door, and stepped back in surprise as it was forced open.

Elanna Aes Sedai, Sitter of the Hall, closed the door behind her, smiling grimly at her young protégé. An older woman, a Saldaean herself, she sat without waiting to be asked, and motioned for Alizandrine to sit, as well.

Why do you do as she asks?

The voice was disdainful, sickened.

Because it is my duty, she replied.

"What can I do for you, Elanna Sedai?"

"Sit, Alizandrine Sedai. You and I will have words today. The Tower is in for... a change. A big change that will happen right here, right now, and I ask you to be a part of it."

Alizandrine would have asked why. She would have asked how this would happen, but she did none of that.

Do you feel it, the voices asked. Do you feel what they've done?

And she did. Something in her very mind snapped with a clean, sharp sound, and the space that had been occupied for so long...

There was a thud at the door, and Gorgian vanished from her mind, leaving an aching, raw space that left her wanting to sick up right then and there. Something spilling in under the door... Light, oh Light it could not be...

She rose, her once sparkling eyes widening.

"What have you done?"

The Aes Sedai sat even straighter, unruffled.

"What was necessary. He refused to allow it, and I knew... I knew that you would not be able to resist. I compelled you myself, long ago."

Alizandrine stepped back, eyes darting wildly for... For what?

For your sword, the voice insisted. For your skills. The skills that you would have had, if you had made other choices, if you had not allowed them to do this to you. Fool! Fool, it insisted. They took everything, and now you are going to die without serving.

"Black Ajah."

"You will lower your voice. We make our move today, and you will help us."

The door opened, admitting a familiar Warder, a mid-aged man with an easy smile and admirable green eyes. Today, his expression was grim, his blade was impure...

"I will not."

Her voice was a whisper, filled to bursting with horror and disgust, and... shock?

Shock, because something had appeared next to the Aes Sedai, sometime in the blinding horror of the breaking of the Bond. A door.

The way back will come but once...

If there was a way back from this. The Warder raised his blade, turned his eyes to Elanna.

"Kill her.", the Red said, and a shield snapped around Alizandrine, sealing her away from the Power. "Make it fast. We have work today."

Alizandrine darted to the right, and flowed back to the left, smoothly, satisfaction blooming at the Warder's surprise to find her leaping onto her desk, leaping through the door...

"Ali!", she shouted back at them, shaking at the thought of what could have been, "My name is Ali!"

"I will stop you...", she repeated, walking on trembling, numb legs toward the Third Arch, almost blind to what the Aes Sedai were doing around her. One more... One more... "I will stop you... I will stop you, I swear it..."

Third Arch

"Ali Taera... My name is Ali Taera...", Ali Sedai of the Green Ajah, Ali Sedai of the Grey Tower, whispered, letting another lock of dark hair fall into her lap. The blade in her hand cut through her hair smoothly, efficiently, a touch brutally. Necessary. The Dream told her over and over again that she would cut her hair. It always began with cutting her hair...

The Dream came first when she was just a little girl, when she was too young to understand what it meant for her. She remembered waking trembling and weeping, wondering why that woman had cut her hair and where she was going with such determination on her face. That woman... It was a long time before she came to recognize the woman as herself. It always began with the cutting of her hair, continued into the hall, and ended outside the Tower, with the lights. The others, all gathered before whatever great task was set before them. It was her reason for continuing, for leaving her family.

Always, it was the same, always, but for this once. Always, when she stepped into the hall, she felt the prick of a thorn – the rose. She would release the rose, watch it shatter, the same with the flute and the stone ring, always with the sensation of a heart breaking. Only this time...

This time she nearly stumbled over a miniature of herself, a little girl in a ruffled green dress and tears falling from big, lovely eyes.

"Mother, what have you done to your hair?"

She fell to her knees beside the child, pulled her to standing, cupped her chin, her hands trembling with the force of her feelings. Light, could anyone in the world ever have loved someone so much?

"I had to cut it, Ellisande. It would fall into my eyes, otherwise. It will grow back."

"No!", the child insisted, her tears spilling down her cheeks, "No, it won't, because you won't come back! Please, mother, please..." The little girl struggled between stoicism and need, and lost. "Please! Please don't go!"

Ali embraced the girl, smoothing her hair away from her face. Her joy... Her life...

"I have to. I have to go. I will try to come home to you, I swear it."

Her heart wrenched as she stood, as she forced herself to walk away from the child, to leave her with the servant who suddenly appeared to pull her away.

"Mother don't go! Please! Mother, don't!"

Those cries echoed in her ears long after she turned the corner, echoed until the cool circle of stone would normally have appeared in her hand. But it did not come. Something else did.

"Your hair. It looks... useful."

He tried to smile for her. Even now, he tried to smile, and she moved to embrace her husband, as recklessly as always.

"I will start a new style at the Tower. You wait... All of the Aes Sedai to the Amyrlin herself will do the same, when we return."

She felt him nod against her neck, his embrace tightening.

"When we return..." He was silent, a moment. "Are you really ready?"

"I have always been ready. Today we ride. Today we begin our task. The Dream told me this day would come."

She drew away, tried to study his face, tried to memorize it in these last moments, but he stood in shadows, his face cowled as surely as if he wore a hood. Why? Why of all days?

And why could she not seem to walk closer? To see him?

"I have no regrets – none.", he said, softly, reaching for her, but she pulled away, battled the tears that threatened to spill.

"I love you."

Her barest emotions in three words.

"I love you...", he returned, and stepped back, lost forever in the shadows.

Not dead, not him. She would find a way, no matter what. They would be together again...

She turned, crying out at the pain of this second of losses, yet continued. One more...

Only the gates were gone, now. The gates had been replaced by an enormous light, a door of frightening proportions. What of the third, then? What of the flute?

Youth, her mind answered. Youth and innocence and freedom from duty. Joy will come again. It has always returned, but innocence... Innocence is gone. If you step through...

And she knew. If she stepped through, she stepped into the life of an Accepted. She took another step on her path, and left behind the dreams of childhood to work toward a new dream.

To serve.

Ali stood on its threshold, bathed in a brilliant light, staring at the Aes Sedai who awaited this final and most difficult of decisions.

There would be losses. There would be suffering. The Dream told her so, but also...

There would be joy.

She forced the smile back to her face, forced herself to smile as she stepped through this last door.

Ali stepped through.

Let me serve...