Fanfic:A Second Chance/Part V
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It sang to her.
To most people who were not born of this land, the Borderlands were harsh and strange places bent upon defense and fight alone. They were lands filled with odd, stubborn and headstrong people and the atmosphere was tainted by the very nearness to the Blight and all that lay within. If you were not born and raised there, you could not understand what it was like to be a part of it and to feel the call of your homeland sing in your blood when your feet touched upon home soil.
It was the middle of the night, when the hours before dawn were at their darkest, but the moon was bright and able to break through the clouds and illuminate everything in strange shadows. The thin strips of darkness made upon the ground by the trees danced, if one took the time to stop and watch them.
Unbidden by anything that she could explain immediately, Miahala awoke in the center of the night. Upward slanted eyes opened to reveal the darkness to the intense blue-green resting there and she did not move for a few moments, taking in the feeling around her. It was not a sense of danger, or of Shadow, which had awakened her, for she would be able to tell immediately if it had been such.
No, it was something completely different.
The gentle, cool breeze of the Saldaean night was calling to her. It was singing to her, through her, and the sudden wild and restless, mischievous, impulse to respond shot through her with a thrill that gave her a slight shiver down her spine. The darkness was illuminated all around her and she was helpless to resist, because she did not wish to resist. She felt no danger here and if there was anything, she would know it.
Disentangling herself gently from Caden's arms, she moved on to the balls of her feet and fingers with a dancer's fluidity and ease. Even after all this time, she had lost none of it. She glanced at his sleeping figure and felt safe he'd remain that way, even though she knew him for a light sleeper, like all Gaidin, but she had not awoken with any sense of unease or alarm, after all.
In this light, at this angle, in his position, the scarring of his face was barely visible. She took a moment to note that he was a handsome man and to her, the scarring had not changed that. It simply was what it was. She had always thought well of him, even when he was her near-sister's Warder. She had not known him well, but trusted him to watch out for Leanna, so that was saying a lot.
Then, things had changed. Then he had been her protector, her friend, confidante... Then, they had changed again. She could not be entirely sure when, but she knew that it had. It was not easy to find people who could understand you on such a core level of being. That was rare, and to be cherished and once she had realized it, she always had - on a level of comrades in arms and companionship at first, and for a long while. Then, seeing him again... Something else had opened in her mind: a something that had been there the whole time, silent, but was now awakened.
She was also getting to see sides of his personality only rarely glimpsed in the earlier days, and she liked that and him in them - all of those aspects of him, those seen before and those seen now.
Assuring herself that he was asleep, she rose silently to a standing position and walked over to her saddlebags, where she rooted around quietly for a few minutes. She pulled out a small package wrapped in brown leather - something she'd purchased, actually, while moving through a small village before having met up with Caden. It had been a purchase of impulse, of nostalgia and she was grateful for it now. It fueled the impulse, the simple and sudden raging in her blood stream, the electricity on her nerves. The next was a large, square piece of blue-green fabric, to be used as a light blanket or large shawl.
It would suit for what she needed now.
With one more glance over her shoulder to assure that her warder and new-found lover was still asleep, she slipped silently from the campsite.
His burned white eye stared blindly into the night sky, but after Miahala walked off into the night, Caden's green one opened and followed her figure as she left their camp.
They had said their goodbyes to Sadira Sedai and Scerai Gaidin a few days back, parting after their combined effort to root out the nest of shadowspawn that had settled below the Blight border. Now they were seemingly alone in the world, with only each other to rely upon. Just recently, they had crossed into Miahala's nation of origin - aiming to postpone their duties in the Tower by visiting some of her relatives there. Later on, they would turn south and take eventually take the northern road through the Mountains of Mist.
He raised himself up to his arms and looked in the direction she had left - waiting for her to return, but there was not a sound emerging from the forest. Peculiar... he thought and sat up, sliding out of their sleeping sack in a fluid movement.
Remaining seated, he thought about his options - racking back a few hairs that had come loose from his thick braid during the time he had slept. Leaning upon his knee, his eyes darted like his thoughts, sweeping the lines of the shadows outside their camp. Does she need to be by herself for some reason? Some time for thought? Does she have an informant to meet who doesn't trust me but only her? No, this must be something else... He failed to comprehend what her ambition was, so he decided to find out - despite the fact that she probably had slipped away into the night and leaving him for a reason. He would be discreet and respect her wishes if she wanted to be alone, but at the same time, it was his sworn duty to protect her - even from herself.
He rose to his feet and stayed only a moment in the camp to pull on his breeches. Barefoot, he made his way after Miahala - silent as a shadow as he followed her tracks in the undergrowth.
The linen shift dropped to the ground in a pool of cream-colored fabric around her feet and she pulled the blue-green drape up around her. It hung quite low and loose in the back, hanging gently over the curve of her hips. She pulled it around and up her front and around behind her neck to tie it, to hold it together. The fabric was light and free-flowing, soft on the skin and easy to move in. It hung to her knees, but the folds in front allowed a full range of movement...
It showed all of the scars upon her back, which had faded with time but were still quite present.
What was she to care for that, though? Who would see?
Kneeling down, she unwrapped the small leather package. From it, she pulled two silver anklets with tiny coin-like charms that jingled softly when moved. She put them on, topping her bare feet as she stood up again.
Briefly, she embraced the One Power and wove a simple fence of warding around the little clearing that she had chosen to inhabit. If anyone other than herself or the moonlight sought to intrude, she would have fair warning.
The pounding in her blood and the calling in her spirit had only increased in the past several moments and a thrill of excitement rushed through her. She had not done something quite like this since she was very young and that seemed so long ago, but the feeling was precisely the same. The feelings made music in her mind.
Miahala began to dance.
Closing her eyes, she held her arms out to either side of herself and set one foot forward with the toe pointed but she did not set it on the ground. She rotated her foot, causing the silver anklet to make a gentle noise. The soft breeze pulled her hair, which she could feel falling in a free, heavy wave down her back to her waist.
Then she set her foot down, resting on the balls of her feet and moving forward. Her shoulders rolled, then her waist, then her hips. They all moved in a silent rhythm that was clear and pure in her mind. The movements were instinct, basic... pure, sensual and raw. It was many things, and it was nothing.
Mia stepped and turned. Every muscle and joint worked in perfect timing and precision with one another. She moved fluidly from move to move. Each one was created or chosen simply as she chanced upon the moment, but it was pieced together like it had been crafted that way. It was as much second nature to her as battle was.
She danced like it was the only thing that her body was made for. She danced like it was the only thing left in a world where time was running out. She gave herself over to it and let it take her where ever it willed to go. She cared not for what her 'image' should be and she cared not for age or mission or rank.
It was much like the over-whelming feeling that emanated between Caden and her in certain moments, a heating of the bloodstream that was basic, primal. As willingly as she gave herself over to him, she gave herself over to this and it felt nothing more than right. Like it was precisely what she was meant to be doing.
In that instant, she was Miahala and nothing more, nothing less. She was the music. She was the dance. She was herself in that simple, unadorned way that she so rarely was afforded the chance to truly show. The dance revealed a window directly in to her soul. It was her and the wind and the music flowing through her limbs.
If one were to watch her, they would almost be able to hear the music in her spirit.
He was watching from the limb of a tree, seated with the tip of his sheathed sabre resting against it. One arm rested upon his knee, but both hands were wrapped around the lacquered scabbard. Without knowing it, Caden has passed though the invisible ward without knowing it, and thus come near enough to see the display in the clearing below.
And what he saw...
Yes, she was dancing - but in a rhythm of her own. The music was not to be heard, but seen in the movements of her form. She was not following, but leading - and revealing what she heard; or rather displaying the raging storm of her passions. And in the silence of the forest, her display was unheeded by any audience save herself and he - who felt like he was doing something forbidden in witnessing the expression of her soul. It was as if she had made herself a puppet to her needs, her opinions and her...
The words that came to his mind were not enough to encompass the emotion displayed through the movements of her body. In trying to grasp what he was seeing, he was trying to put a name to the spiritual essence of her being. It was like trying to understand life and explain how it exists. There were no answers, as little as he could describe what he saw. In knowing Miahala since years back, he was witnessing her carnal nature in a new way.
Thus he stopped analysing, and merely watched - spelled by her and holding his breath as each crescendo of force in her dance was swept over by another - like waves throwing themselves up against the shore.
All he did was to slowly continue down towards the clearing - never taking his eyes away from her during this slow progress. He acted on pure instinct, not looking at his surroundings. He passed through the undergrowth like sand running through one's fingers.
In the end, he stopped at a distance so that he would not disturb her in giving voice to her deepest emotions. He did not voice anything, knowing that it would be rude to interrupt her. All the questions he had, all the words he wanted to say, they were left forgotten in the back of his mind.
The moonlight clearly illuminated his figure - like a marble statue in frozen time; neither meant to move or able. Yet his spiritual presence in the clearing was diminished to a speck in the shadow of her dancing - and he was content to watch her until she was finished.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, there was a dim awareness that the warded line had been breached and there was an awareness of the bond growing closer, but the two blended together. Caden had crossed the wards. She knew that, but only in the distance of her mind and it was no cause for alarm, so it didn't come to the forefront. It didn't give her pause, so she did not stop.
The music had yet to stop, so in time to both homeland and spirit, she continued.
Time was meaningless.
In actuality, not all that much time had passed, but it could've been an instant, and it could've been an eternity for all that she would've noticed. It was like some scene in her mind were being acted out through out her dance, but it was not mimicry of occurence. It just... was.
Suddenly, it broached a frenzy that last several moments and stopped all together. Her body brought her to her knees, palms pressed to the ground and head bent. Her shoulders moved with exaggeration as her breath and heartbeat tried to catch up to one another and she let the gentle breeze play over her. All of her mind crashed back to the front of her focus.
Then, she lifted her head, her focus moving to something behind her, although she did not turn her head. Full lips curved slightly. "I know you're there, Caden," she said quietly, her voice husky with exultant fatigue.
In following her with his eyes and attuning his mind to her motions, it dawned to him.
I can feel it... he thought as he watched her. In staring at Miahala from the edge of the clearing, Caden realised that her dancing had become the bodily expression of the pulsating bond in his mind.
The bond reflected her mind, and the dance reflected her. The bond pulsated like a heart; thrummed in emotions that ran so deep he could never discern what they were - they were either too faint or too many. The emotions were strong, and yet indiscernible, for they were the foundations of her spirit; the core of her essence. To the pulsating beat in his mind, she moved, and Caden knew he was the only one who could se the dance quite the way he did.
From a spectator's view, there was a bit of insanity in dancing, for the body never lied in its hidden language of the soul. There was no modesty, no humbleness, only pure need. Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another. It expressed what remained too deep to find for articulation. And by seeing this display, Caden thought that he, at a subconscious level, was learning something new about Miahala - but he could not put it to the blunt instrument of words.
Then it came.
During the crescendo of the dance, the bond drummed soundlessly, and Miahala danced in accord to the drum in his head while accompanying the soundless beat with the tinkles of her anklets. The faint chiming followed the drums tight rhythm, and even though he could not hear it, he could see it inside his mind and give it voice by his own imagination.
The pulse was rapid, seemingly loosing control, but just when Caden thought reality would collapse upon itself in the apex of the rolling beat - Miahala fell down to her knees and the drum stopped; leaving the world silent in breathless awe.
Caden blinked, releasing the breath he found that he had been holding.
After a few moments, she spoke from her kneeling position in the centre of the clearing. "I know you're there, Caden," she said. He suspected that she had known, but her words seemed loud to his mind - which was so focused on the more subtle feeling of the Bond he had to her.
Miahala... Unhooking his feet from the place he stood, he slowly walked out to her.
Up close, her body was exquisite in the aftermath of her disclosure of heart and soul. Gradually, the scars of her back came out in more detail as he came closer. Sweat made her skin gleam - accenting her bone structure and muscles. She was a scarred beauty in satisfaction of her exhaustion - in denial to the cold air as well as in elation of the moment. Then and there, the scars on her back did nothing but to give her figure an even sharper allure. She was an exotic creature in all details, and more than ever, Caden would rather untie the knot behind her neck and see all of her of her instead of speaking. He steeled himself though.
"Forgive me, but in my eye, such a performance is wasted if not displayed," he rasped and crouched down directly behind her - leaning against the grounded sabre in his right hand. His other hand came to rest upon her left shoulder. "Watching you," he continued, "it felt like you have longed to do this for quite some time - for you must have done this before."
He paused, and then added as he leaned forward to her ear. "Whatever made you stop dancing this way, you should never stop again. Stifling your urge to dance..." he paused and started over. "I mean... the way you gave voice to your soul, it could rust your spirit like the steel of an untended blade. You seemed to come alive, giving voice to your life force and your emotions. Without a voice, you will not know what you feel deep inside. Remember the night we Bonded and made love to each other the first time, how you told me of the importance of saying what you think when the time comes to you? The same goes for what you did tonight."
Her eyes wandered over the darkened tree line for several moments of silence, a strange smile on her face, although he wouldn't be able to see it.
"Yes," she said, voice barely more than a whisper of wind. "I used to do this. It got harder, later. For a while, I had no desire to. And then even when I did, I found it difficult to experience it fully, most of the time, indoors and the Tower does not afford much privacy out of doors... and when I was alone, out of the Tower did not afford much safety."
Pushing back, she readjusted herself, settling back in to a seat and folding her legs beside her. "This... was also the reason I had to come to the Tower. Well, that I had to leave home." She reached up and pulled her hair over one side, glancing back at him over her shoulder. Her face was serene, blue-green eyes reflected wild light still dancing, the moon reflecting briefly in the short-lived silver trails that made their way down her face.
"I have always loved to dance, but my mother did not think much of it. So I had to sneak out. One of my brothers played music and bodyguard, my friend sang, and we would spend our nights at a near by tavern. I would dance for them... never more than that, but I loved it. Until my mother caught me, of course, and I ran away." The strange smile was back. "So, I suppose I have a lot to be grateful to dancing for, eh?"
Silence descended again for a few moments before she moved to hands and knees, turning around to face him. "I do not intend to stop, my love, for I do not think that I could now." Leaning for a little, she kissed his cheek. "I did not think for you to find me... but I am glad you did."
Even though his dreadful white eye reflected the moon, his green eye still shone as brightly - meeting hers.
Running his free hand lovingly through her hair, he answered her. "And I am equally glad that I decided to do so, and grateful. For I have never seen anything like it," he rasped and studied her face. While he did so, his hand returned to her face to brush away what remained of her tears. "It hurts my heart that something as beautiful as you just did could have hurt you at some point - denying you joy in it. You were born to dance."
Leaning his forehead against hers, he studied her eyes before gathering his resolve to say what he meant to say. It was hard for him, because he could never phantom himself saying the words again. Not after Leanna's rejection, or Llewlellyn's betrayal. After he as burned, he had never thought this situation to occur again. But here it was, without a doubt as evident as the moon above them. He closed his green eye and took a deep breath. I'm a fool. Fool, fool fool. Don't say it, you will be let down again. Shut your mouth!
His hand came to rest gently upon the side of her neck, lying still. If he could, he wanted to hold her back from withdrawing from him then - to keep the rejection from happening. He began to stroke her skin, fingers trembling slightly. "Seeing you dance - feeling the bond as you did - I came to understand things that I cannot describe. I felt feelings emanate that touched my own, and I know this... that I am about to say... for a certainty. You have made me see clearly - across the battlements of my heart. You loomed there beyond them - showing me that it is safe to come outside."
"Miahala..." He opened his eye. "I love you."
Mia did not pull away.
She had no worldy desire to do so.
Emotions were like silent lightning all around them. Almost another presence, and not belonging to one or the other. To both, and just as alive as they. The darkness was illuminated by it, yet entirely closed off all around them. Everything was perfectly still all around her as the eternity of her life flashed through her mind and heart.
She could sense that he was afraid... afraid to be rejected. Afraid to be hurt, again. This was something that she could understand, although for her it was different. Staring in to his eyes, yes both of them even though only one could look back, a momentary cut of fear rang through her as well.
One day, he'll die as well... but will you? The voice was sharp and wicked in the back of her mind. Will this one abandon you on some quest before finally perishing and leaving you alone in the world, again? It was persistent.
But... the answer was already given. It was already done. Even if she'd wanted to stop it, it was too late. And she had no desire to change what had happened. No regrets. This was only words to put on to what was already in existence.
Leaning forward, she gave him a soft kiss and smiled. "I love you, too," she replied.
A flood of relief and joy burst fourth in Caden's chest, and he smiled - genuinely smiled like he used to have been able to - with the left side of his face. His white teeth flashed in the dim moonlight and he let out a breath - chuckling deep in his throat.
"I was more frightened just now than when that brigand tried to strangle me," he rasped and laid his sword down in the grass to pull her close in a tight embrace. His arms around her, he lowered his mouth to close it over hers - kissing her again with her body held close to his own.
He parted a few seconds later without releasing her from his embrace, looking into her eyes. "You are a remarkable woman, Miahala Sha'hal," he scraped in a low husky voice in words meant only for her ears. "The Light knows what I've done to deserve you." He brushed back her hair with one hand and looked her straight into her eyes as he continued. "I swear to you, beyond my calling as a Warder, that I - as a man - will be loyal to you and never betray your trust. You shall never fear that I will ever leave you unless you beg me to go."
Running his hands up behind her head, he promised in clear syllables, "I will be the cliff that shelters you in the storm."
The smile remained all the while, as if the sun had dawned in his face after a decades of darkness. He did not care what his words sounded like, they were spoken in pure simple joy - bursting forth from the gates of his heart. If he were ever to smile again, it would always be when he was with her, but now he smiled as he held her close.
"Oh, Caden," Mia whispered, the smile that came on to her face was bright, almost filled with a sort of... wonder. She reached one hand up and touched his face, then the other to touch the other side. "You should do that more often," she whispered, kissing him again. "Smile like that. I've always thought you handsome, but it certainly brings it out." She leaned her forehead against his.
Closing her eyes, she just let the moment move all around them before opening them again. "And I believe you... I believe that you will be all of those things for me, but please do not ever forget that I shall be those things for you as well. This is a river that runs both ways."
She smiled again.
They lingered there - in the peaceful clearing - until their hearts' content; until Caden Ives took Miahala's hands and helped her to her feet.
"Let us return to our camp," he rasped softly and rested an arm around her waist while they set out the way whence they had come. "The night is turning cold, the way we're dressed. Not that I mind the view though. You should keep that, so that I can have the pleasure of watching you dance again some other time." His tone was rueful - hinting at how much he had enjoyed the show she had preformed.
They returned to their camp and found it undisturbed; as if nothing had happened since the time they had left it. Winterbourne and N'dore hardly bothered to notice them from where they stood hobbled a bit further off.
Their sleeping sack called, but when they had settled themselves there again, they did not sleep until much later. Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another - yet dancing is sometimes the perpendicular expression and allurement for a horizontal desire. That showed true that night, for the night might have turned cold, but their emotions burned hot like a bonfire reaching for the sky.
The next morning they woke to a chilling wind. But it did not matter, because they were in a light mood and set off to cross the last distance to their goal. Every now and then, Caden found his smile again and gave it to Miahala when she looked at him - reminding them both how they had bound their trust and commitment to each other in a way quite original; through dancing and honesty towards themselves and the other.
Come morning, everything had taken on a new light to Miahala. It was subtle, but unmistakable. She would not have been able to guess it ahead of time, but seeing a smile of that magnitude on Caden's face turned out to be quite a gift and she could not help but simply feel grateful to be able to see it, have helped to put it there, although she would not take credit for it. It came from within him. She was just glad to be given the privilege of seeing it there.
The initial travel was only a day's worth of riding at a fair pace before they arrived at Tianna's farm. Sunset was impending and everything was quiet. She approached the door and knocked, but there was no answer. She was curious and tried again, but still nothing. "They be traveling," she said to Caden. "They continue to be active in the breeding and training of prize horses and they may be out on business," she went on to explain, walking around the house and to the stables.
Entering them, she checked several stalls and found them clear and clean, but empty. Her continued investigation told her that nothing untoward had happened. "My poor timing," she said with a wry smile, "We'll see if Ell is at home. She's Chaeton's eldest daugther and took up living in my parent's home, since Dorant had moved to Baerlon," she continued her explanation as the pair walked back to their horses. "We should make camp near by, as night descends and it's another fair journey to the farm."
With the arrival of dawn, the pair were on the move again. The other light, though, had well remained and continued to. Mia did not think too much about it, or analyze it, she just let it be what it was and enjoyed it. Although it was a fair haul to the farm where she was born and raised til the age of fifteen, it passed quickly and comfortably enough as they made their way down the roads that led to Maradon. As it was the capital city of Saldaea, the roads were well worn, but not overly busy.
Another night at camp, and then by midday the next day, Mia had led them off the roads and to smaller ones, finally approaching the farm.
Miahala smiled and took in a deep breath, for over the years, the stigma of this place had passed from her and now it just felt like home. A home of the past, yes, for the Tower was now her home, and a truer home found in her bondmate, but it was still a comforting feeling just to be here again. Saldaea always had that affect on her, as had been proven all to well just a few nights ago.
"Do you hear that?" she asked, pulling N'dore up to a halt. A sound had drifted to her on the breeze. She tilted her head, listening to it. Sensing Caden's sudden unease, she turned her head and gave him a smile. "Music," she explained. "It's coming from ahead," she said, then put N'dore back in to a walk on their original path, buildings coming in to sight as they drew closer.
There was a small shed to be seen first and behind that was a two-story farm house, which held a large barn - almost the size of the house itself - just to the left of it. And in front of all of these was a pasture with a wooden fence. All doors faced the pasture. Several horses, including two with foals, were grazing lazily. Behind the house was another fenced in area, although there wasn't anyone or any horses to be seen in there. It was a training yard.
"Where I grew up," Mia told Caden quietly, and when they got closer, they could see that there were three people beside the shed, in front of the side facing the road that Mia and Caden now rode up.
There were two girls and one boy. The older girl, looking in her early twenties, and the boy, who looked close to her age, were both sitting on the ground. The boy was playing a stringed instrument while the older girl was singing. The third of the group, a girl younger than them both, was dancing to the beat and the tune of the music made. You could tell just by looking at them that they were related to each other, and to Mia. When you got close enough, you could see the Saldaean eyes, in blue-green. They all had dark hair.
The girl was dancing with her eyes closed and the music was carrying her. It was not as primal as Mia's had been, but you could see the resemblance between the two.
The spell was broken, however, when the older girl saw the two riding up. "Aunt Mia!" she shrieked happily, tossing herself up to her feet and running over. Mia smiled brightly and dismounted, being nearly over-thrown by the force of the embraces given her by the three children. They were all grinning and talking all at once. Mia calmed them.
"Gelletta, how you've grown!" Mia exclaimed, brushing a long strand of dark hair from the girl's face, behind her ear. "Your poor father must be beating boys away with a stick." The older girl smiled and blushed. "Especially with that lovely voice. And Horin, you're getting better every day. You're starting to look like your father, almost as much as your sisters look like your mother." Mia went on, still smiling. The three started talking again, but she quieted them. "Your parents home?"
The boy, Horin, nodded. "Aye, they are, although Grandmother and Grandfather are off with Cousin Tianna and Kel," he explained.
Mia nodded, then turned back. "Caden Ives... This is Gelletta, Horin and Fuella Intennon. They are the great grandchildren of my brother Chaeton," she continued the introduction. "Ell and Mait continue the family horse business and must be traveling with Tianna and Kel. Their children, Mellyia and Lozen also live here." She turned back to the children, "This is my warder, Caden Ives Gaidin."
The three stepped away from Mia and then looked to Caden. Their eyes widened slightly and then all blinked, but then remembered their manners and gave small smiles and took a step forward, giving a small bow. "An honor to meet you, Gaidin," Gelletta said respectfully. "As my Aunt is welcome in our home, so are you," she went on.
After dismounting a few seconds after Miahala had done so, Caden had stood impassively in the background while the reunion was taking place.
When the eyes of the children finally found him, Caden saw the common reaction to his face strike their innocent features. However, these children did not react half as strongly as others in their age, and the Warder believed that it partially had to do with his affiliation to their aunt and her apparent ease in his company. At the same time, it could just as well have to do with the Sha'hal blood in their veins.
Miahala was hard woman, and he would not be surprised to discern more of her in them than just her appearance.
"An honor to meet you, Gaidin," the young girl named Gelletta said respectfully to him. The others remained silent. "As my Aunt is welcome in our home, so are you."
"The apples do not fall far from the tree," he rasped in reply, "but this family tree you share with my Aes Sedai belies its size when my good eye regards you three." Wearing his armour and cloak, Caden placed a hand on the pommel of his bastard sabre and slowly bowed to the children. The bow was too flourishing and respectful to be in accord with etiquette, but he was not standing court, so he granted the esteem he wished to them. "The honour is mine, young ones."
He tried his smile, but since it was not directed towards Miahala, it turned out as his usual dreadful grimace - like death grinning through his damaged nerves and scar tissue. Feeling that it was not right, he quickly let the smile go - but maybe not before scaring the children.
All the youths eyed Caden curiously, but not with fear, precisely. They were much like the family line, and like children of the Blightborder. They had all seen family and friends alike, or just people they knew, give service to that defense and many of them took scar for it. They were not easily startled by such things, for they had seen the marks that horrors left... and yet, they were able to find peace and innocence, even in such a harsh place and hard times.
Horin was quiet, but watchful. Although he did not directly, it was obvious that he was the one who took it upon himself to tend and take care of his sisters. Gelletta stood out as the leader of the three, although at her age and still unwed, she could seem young at times, and very old at others. She blushed slightly at the honor afforded her by Caden's gesture. Fuella was the shyest and she stood behind her sister, peeking out slightly. A faint aura of embarrassment was around her, for anyone having seen her dance.
"Please, come in," Gelletta said, gaining herself once again. "You must both be tired from travel." She ushered the other two ahead of her and they took off a jog, while Gelletta stayed and walked with Mia and Caden. She lead them to where the horses could be stabled and assisted with that before walking with them in to the house. She did not so much lead them there, for she knew that her Aunt knew the way. "You shall find that you're not the only visitor," she added with a small smile as they walked in to the house.
Inside, it was warm. There was a fire going in the hearth and the smell of stew filled every corner of air. There was a wooden table in the center of the room and it was covered with scraps of fabric that would be made in to a quilt, Mia could tell, although no one was tending that task with them then.
A woman in her early forties sat at the table. She was tall in her bearing, even though you couldn't see that she was in actual height yet. Her figure was strong, and solid. Her eyes were Saldaean, but were a dark brown - inherited from her father, rather than her mother. Her hair was dark and pulled back in a low bun. She was holding a baby, who was crying. Mia smiled idly as they walked in and the woman looked up on hearing footsteps.
"Mia," she said warmly, "It's so good to see you," she continued, rising to her feet and walking over. She held the baby in one arm, though the little one was not so little, and hugged her Aunt with the other. "I had no idea you'd be coming."
"It was sort of last minute, Mellyia," Miahala replied, "I happened to be near by and wanted to see what family was around. I hope that this is not a bad time..."
Mellyia shook her head vehemently. "Not at all! You are welcome any time." Her gaze then caught Caden and her brows rose, "And this is...?" she asked curiously, looking back to her aunt. Introductions were once again made and Mellyia nodded, now understanding. "Ahh, well then, it is good to meet you. Please, both of you, sit, be welcome," she went on, gesturing to the benches around the table as she retook her own seat.
"And who is this?" Mia asked, not yet sitting but walking over to look at the little one, who was still crying but quieter now, little arms waving from his bundling.
It was explained that the little girl was Fenti and she was Tianna's great granddaughter. (Mia pointedly didn't look at her warder at that note, given that it was a reminder of her age and she didn't want to think about it.) Tianna's grandchildren, Haloran and Mila, had apparently gone with her. Mellyia was watching the little one... who Mia had never met, though she knew of the birth of her fifth great, great grandchild.
"May I?" she asked, holding her arms out and Mellyia relinquished the little one. "It has been a while," the Green said softly, holding the little one close to her and looking down at the little features, already showing small hints of the family line and she smiled. She sung to her softly, as she was not meant to be a singer, but got by for children. The infant quieted, staring at Mia with a curious gaze.
"Not so long that you do not still have the touch," Mellyia commented appreciatively.
Standing in the room, Caden had folded his hands behind his back as he observed the scene.
At the mentioning of Miahala's age, Caden smiled. The body could not lie, and he thought he might have seen Miahala's back stiffen as Mellyia mentioned that Tianna's great granddaughter - as if she refrained from looking at something. On his part, Caden was not surprised to hear such a thing for he had been living with Aes Sedai most of his life. Leanna had been much older than him too. Lewelllyn by a couple of years. And the fact that Miahala had lived twice as long as he had, or possibly longer, did not matter.
All that mattered was the present. The past could not be changed, and the future was decided in large by the Pattern - becoming as unpredictable as the past was unchangeable. The present was now. The present was touchable. Since Caden lived in the moment, he saw Miahala for who she was, not how long she had been.
Seeing Miahala carrying the child made something move inside his chest. His thoughts wandered to his own stray daughter. He had no idea where she was, or if she was alive. Bascha Surani he thought, keeping the memory of her alive in his mind. If you decide to return to the Tower, I will be there waiting for you.
Suddenly he realised that she might have returned already. Shifting his green eye to Miahala's face, he wondered if she could know if she had showed up during the fifteen years he had been away. He knew he had mentioned the existence of Bascha to Miahala once long ago when they were previously Bonded, but only passingly without details. Maybe it was something he should bring up again now, as their situation had changed. To say the least. He kept silent for now though, since the time was not right.
Neither did he approach Miahala when she held the child, because he knew what his apparence might do to the baby's fragile calm. Miahala's singing was soothing the little one's temper and it would be a shame to destroy it by sticking his face in to look at the child. Maybe later, when she was sleeping. The image of Miahala holding the baby was a sight in its own, since it was a side he had previously not seen. And it was a most pleasant one to behold - his heart warming at the glow in his loved one's smile.
As still as a statue, he watched in silence. The Bond was speaking to Miahala in wordless yet clear summary of his feelings. The glow of his love shone as warmly as her smile.
"Is she close to her usual time to nap?" Mia asked, looking up from Fenti to Mellyia.
The feelings echoing between Mia and Caden via the bond were strong and comforting. The little one had now fully dozed off and was leaning heavily against Mia, but she didn't mind. It was all very familiar and harkened to happy times in her life - even if not all the circumstances around those moments were happy, the instances where it was just she and her child, or children, were always warm.
Mell nodded, "Aye, that it is," she replied, getting to her feet and walking over to Mia and Fenti. "Before I put her down, though, I must ask," she said, looking at Mia and then Caden, then back again, "Will you two want to stay the night here? I truly hope you say that you will, for you don't get by this way often and I'd like time for a proper visit."
"I'll only consider it if you have the room. I know how small this house can be, and I would not wish to put you out," Mia said with a smile, glancing back at Caden to gauge his opinion on it.
The other woman waved a hand. "We always have room for family. In fact, the room that I was told used to be yours does not have any one in it currently."
Mia laughed. "Oh dear, I'm not even sure I'll fit in that room any more. I was fifteen last I was there!"
"You'll fit fine," Mell said with a smile, "Say you'll stay and I'll not nag. You can be off again come morning light, but get a good amount of time in for us all to be together while you're here."
Wit a warm surrendering smile, Mia nodded, "We shall," she replied.
"Good!" Mell said fondly, then looked to the door where Horin and Fuella stood quietly. "Go fetch their bags from their horses and take them up the corner room. Go on now!" She shooed them and they slipped off on their errand. Mell turned back to Mia.
"Now, let me help you put her down before she decides to wake again with all our talking," Mia said with a faint laugh. Mell nodded agreeance and started walking to a room in the back of the house, but still on the first floor. Mia glanced at Caden again with a bright smile, then said, "I'll be right back," and she followed the other woman to the back of the farmhouse, leaving Caden to his thoughts for a few moments...
...Meanwhile, another presence had come to fill in the doorway. Gelletta.
She was of a more willowy frame than most of her family, giving her the appearance of being a little more frail, but frail in this family was still of sterner stock than what would be strong in others. She leaned against the door frame, staring in to the kitchen for several long, silent moments. She was good at being quiet, because she was quiet by nature.
"It was fire, wasn't it?" she asked, her voice soft. When he looked at her, she squeaked and covered her mouth, almost as if she didn't believe she'd just said it oud loud. "I'm so sorry," she said, words rushing out of her mouth in quick order as her eyes widened. "That was so terribly rude. I can't believe I just said that. I hope you'll forgive, Gaidin, it's just..."
She stumbled over words and paused there, taking a few steps towards him and calming herself with visible effort, though her eyes remained wide. "It's just that... your scars. They're familiar."
Gelletta bit her lip, turning and taking a seat on a bench at the table, then looking at him again. "There's a boy in the village just east of here. We have been friends for a long time." A faint hint of color flushed her cheeks. "He's the blacksmith's son... well, he was, until his father died and now he's the blacksmith there. He... Well, his hand... it was in a fire when he was young. This was probably eleven years ago, maybe twelve. His hand was very badly burnt.
"In fact, it happened when Aunt Mia was visiting. He's only alive, really, because of her. The shock was so great to young a person, but she Healed him... She saved his life and his hand, somewhat, but not before scars took it. He only just barely has use of it now, wears gloves all the time... most of the time. I've seen it, and it looks..." She paused again, biting her lower lip, "Well, it's reminiscent of how yours look," she finished quietly.
Although she tried not to, emotions rang out pretty clear over her young face. There was anger when she spoke of the injury. There was warmth, and dare it be said, love when she spoke of this young man. A blush to her face when she mentioned that she'd seen his hand - that he didn't *always* wear gloves. And there was admiration and gratitude for her Aunt. At the end, though, there was embarressment, for she had rambled on and had not intended to.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, with a shy smile and got to her feet. She was just tying her hair in to a knot and then tying on an apron when Mia and Mell returned.
Mell walked over to the girl and they began moving around the kitchen, taking care of such matters with ease. Mia walked over to Caden and gave him another smile. "Let's take a walk," she said quietly, "I don't want to be in the way, and I don't think they'll let me help cook," she said, amusement dancing in her eyes.
"Quite right, guests don't cook," Mell said over her shoulder, "Besides, spending all the time in the Tower, I would worry for what you would make," she added teasingly, giving the two a grin.
"So would I," Mia whispered.
There was something more... youthful about her, almost mischevious. She slipped her hand briefly in to his, tugging it for him to follow and then released it as she walked out of the door and in to the cool air of midday in Saldaea. Horin was just carrying their bags inside and Fuella was following. The girl gave them a brief wave, then disappeared through the door.
Mia took in a deep breath, holding her cloak close about her with arms folded, head up, as she walked along beside him. "Hope my family isn't too over-whelming for you," she said once they were a fair few paces away, approaching the back of the stables. She smiled sidelong at him.
The initial words from the doorway had not unsettled Caden. He had only turned to answer her when Gelletta had felt embarrassed and tried to smooth things over. Not uttering a single word while she told her story, Caden said only one thing before Mia and Mell returned; "Do not be, young woman, for I have been sorry enough. The world needs no more sadness than it already has, and you should never apologise for saying the truth."
Later, when Miahala had led him outside and asked him if her family was too overwhelming, Caden could but shake his head.
"No," he rasped and walked along beside her. "I can imagine how you've missed them during the years in the Tower's service. You seem very at ease when you are here, among family and friends. They are... understanding." Caden thought about the scene in the kitchen and a ghost of a smile touched his lips. "The youths are old for their years, and know how to behave with strangers. If your whole family is like this, you are fortunate in your upbringing - at least to the point where you had to leave, if not counting the years after you returned."
His green eye turning introspective, he continued to talk in a lower voice. "Were I so fortunate, my life would have been much different." He paused as the dark memories settled over his mind like a pungent fog.
"I grew up in Bandar Eban underneath the cane of my abusive uncle. I worked in the docks there, earning both our living while he ate and drank what I set out for him, barely wiping his mouth before punishing me for something I overlooked. I grew up uneducated, only knowing manual labour. I lifted cargo, cleaned, cooked, mended clothes and polished boots until my mind numbed to the tasks. I was a prisoner in my own body - which grew up and matured before I caught up mentally."
They had turned the corner of the barn, and Caden paused to stare off into the distance. "Then, when I was yet to turn twenty, Delilah came into my life. She made me wake up and realise that I was more than my service to uncle Tharenwo. I saved her life the day we met by beating a band of drunken scum to the cobblestones. I suppose that was the first time I realised what all the years in the docks had made of my young body. She was my first love, and I never told my uncle about her. She was my secret - my refuge away from him and the docks. However, my relationship with her only lasted a few weeks.
"One night I realised that my uncle was not truly a relative - only a man that has bought me from a slave trader. Tharenwo had pretended to be my only family and refused to tell me anything about my parents. He even admitted it, as if it was the most trivial thing."
He turned to look Miahala straight in the eye. His burned side was towards her.
"That night, I killed him. I held his head inside the blazing fireplace until he stopped moving."
He turned his gaze from her, unable to hold it. "Later in my years, I have nursed the belief that it was the Pattern's poetic justice that smote me the day I was cursed to wear this face. Nevertheless, I still don't regret what I did to that man. I did however regret how I had to flee from Bandar Eban, leaving Delilah behind without a word of farewell."
Continuing his story, Caden hooked his thumbs behind his belt. The wind was making the small strands of hair that had escaped his braid dance before his eyes. "When I was Gaidin Captain, seventeen years later, there came a Drin'far'ji to the Yards that the Pattern mercilessly decided that I was to become Mentor to. I have told you about her only once before. Her name was Bascha Surani, and she was my daughter.
"We did not know at first, but the truth evidently came to our realisation. I learned that Delilah had married and remarried several times, that Bascha had grown up under different father - figures during her whole life. She carried an ashandarei that I had given Delilah, and it is the same one which you have seen in the lanceholder on my saddle.
"Not long after, Bascha had disappeared from the Tower one day without a word or a letter, just like I had abandoned her mother before she was born. The only thing that she had left me was the ashandarei, which I found lying on top of the desk in my study. History had thus completely repeated itself to take its revenge on me."
Letting out a breath, Caden finished his story. "Seeing your family reminds me of the one I never had. When I practice with the ashandarei, I do it while remembering - as a kind of homage to my daughter and the life that wasn't to be." He looked at Miahala again. "She must be closing her thirties by now. All the years that I have been away from the Tower, I have wondered if she returned there and found me gone.
"So, when I saw you holding the small Fenti in your arms, not only did my heart swell in seeing your maternal instincts coming to life, I was also silently wondering - as a father - if you had heard anything about a Trainee returning to look for me.
"I know I only mentioned Bascha once before, in passing, and that you might think ill of me for not speaking about this more thoroughly until now, but the question remains - have you heard anything?"
Mia listened to Caden tell his tale, walking beside him as a silent, steady presence. She did not offer thoughts or questions, but let it be said as he wished to say it. Towards the end, as they moved further from the house, she slipped her arm in to his as a simple, unobtrusive gesture of companionship, comfort and just a reaffirmation that she was there, with him.
"I do not think ill of you in any way, love," she said softly, when he was done. "All tales meant to be told are told in time. They are like living things, they are like the things that lived to create them - they have their own will," she said softly. "So worry not on what I might think for it."
She paused there and let silence linger on a while, a short while, as she searched through her memories. "However, I am sorry to say that I have not heard anything. If she is back to the Tower, I have not word of it, though I have not been looking for word of it, so I could've missed some note or instance." She tilted her head up to look at him for a moment. "I am sorry that I could not give you more," she said quietly.
The breeze continued in a gentle way and it soothed her, even though she was not - at that moment - in need of such soothing. Events were aligning and conspiring to put her to a new sort of peace, one she had not felt in a very long while. During this strange trip, she had been feeling many things she thought long dead. This was just one more, but she realized it, acknowledged it, and made mental note to enjoy it.
"Life never takes turns that we expect," she continued in a philosophical way. "I could never have predicted any of the turns it took for me. Particularly how strange it is to have left this very house so long ago in such pain and betrayal, to return so many years later and have it bring such comfort." She smiled softly at him. "It adds something to share it with you," she added quietly.
"I will tell you that not all my family is precisely like this, but the fair majority of them are... My children particularly take after me in the certain... gregariousness of the Sha'hal line. Rynny did, although I fear he has not ever been the same since Quitara was killed." She sighed gently, looking at the ground for a few moments as they walked, trusting Caden and her hold on his arm to not walk her in to a tree or something.
The sun cut through the line of trees on their right, making decorative shadows on the pale grass as their path walked them along the wooden fence line of the large pasture. Looking up, she stopped a moment and walked them to the railing. A mare and her young colt walked placidly up to them and Mia held a hand out, keeping it still and flat. The mare sniffed it and then nuzzled it while the colt frolicked behind her, his short mane blowing in the wind.
"There is something you're not precisely right on, though, Caden," she started again, having let more moments dance past in comfortable quiet as she scratched the mare's cheek and neck, running fingers through a silky, slightly tangled mane. "You are not without family, and I do not mean the Tower in this case." She glanced sidelong at him.
"As my warder in the past, you were half my life. My life so often depended on you above all else, even myself. As my warder now, you are once again half my life, but now you are even more than that. In loving me, you are my family and in being my family, mine is yours. They may not realize the extent, or they may, but they recognize your importance and will welcome you.
"For that family which I am closest, this is their way. For the most part, they are all more open and accepting than my parents before them." Mia turned then, releasing her grasp on his arm and leaning back against the fence. The mare nudged her shoulder, seeking more attention and the colt nipped briefly at the end of her hair before racing off.
Her smile then was simple, but quite firm in regards to the things she said. She knew where of she spoke and she was not to be disagreed with. "I know it is different than how you meant, and that it is different in that they are not blood, but... as you will have me and as I you, Caden Ives, should you accept them, my family will be yours."
Looking into her eyes for a few heartbeats, Caden then moved towards her. He closed his calloused hands upon the fence, with an arm on either side of her slim waist.
"Thank you, Mia. Your family is accepted, naturally," he rasped and studied her face up close, "They are a part of you and they are just as welcome into my life as you are. They are not my blood, as you say, but that fact is trivial in comparison to what we have, you and I." He leaned close and smelled her hair. The rose-scent was still there even though they had been on the road for many days. "I much prefer your family in comparison to the relatives that loiter around in my mansion."
Looking past her into the open area of the pasture, his eyes sharpened as he began to think about his relatives. Unlike them, he had been raised as a Domani, and sometimes their temper still reminded itself in him - even though he had mellowed over the course of the years.
"Cousins and cousins' children, wives and husbands to them from other Arafellin Houses, their servants and their spies, all of them a condescending and arrogant lot with the sole ambition to expand their power and influence. All they see is the prospect of profit and gain. Their cowardly ways are viewed upon as virtues, probably supposed to resemble honour or distinction. They flatter and deceive, betray and squabble all the time. They try to appear dignified when they are just as much flesh and blood as you and I.
"Oh, I can play that game too - otherwise I would not have accomplished what I did back there - but sometimes they vexed me enough that I was ready to send them off to the Warder Yards and make decent people out of them - to make them sweat and hurt until they retched in the mud."
The fence creaked as his hands gripped tighter around the wood.
"I wanted to see if they could stay dignified then, with welts from wooden swords all over their fat or fragile bodies and their sweat turning to ice in the mountain wind. I would have liked to see them on their knees in the kitchens, scrubbing until their hands bled or seen them digging ditches in the ground frost outside the Grey Tower battlements. Maybe then, they would have begun to see things my way - to understand what their priorities should be."
His eyes growing softer, he blinked and leaned back a little - catching her eye again. "Forgive me. What I meant to say is that your family is much preferable to the noble brood that share the blood in my veins. At least there are genuine feelings displayed in their faces, and I can see how they accept me in their midst, just like you say. I will never forget my daughter, and continue to pay homage to her from time to time, but I also welcome your kin as my own. Thank you, for it means a lot to me."
His eyes continued to scan across her face, taking in her full lips and the way her lashes curved back from her stunning eyes. The leather of his armour creaked faintly with each slow breath he took. "You look radiant here in your natural environment. It is as if the land you hail from brings out your beauty. You are more at peace now than any other time I have seen you."
"I'm not sure what it is, precisely, to be honest," Mia replied quietly with an almost serene smile. "These past days, weeks, have been almost unreal... but more real than anything else at the same time. Being here, though, grounds it for certain and brings things to a new focus. Soon, we'll have to go back to the Tower and I won't be sorry for that, but there's certain freedom and quiet in being here."
Reaching out, she lifted her hand to gently touch his face. "It's almost like being here has made everything that's happened more... real. And although for the lesser moments, that's only so much to be wished, for the rest..." Her smile deepened, "It's a wonderful thing." She rose on her toes a little and gave him a brief, gentle kiss.
She felt a tug on her braid and looked over her shoulder to see the colt back at the fence and tugging on the end of her hair between the rails. Chuckling softly, she pulled the braid over her shoulder and the little one's ears flickered with a moment of discontent before something else all together caught his attention and he trotted off to find some other amusement while his mother grazed lazily close by.
Then, holding her arms about herself, she leaned forward with her head near his shoulder. It felt remarkably... normal, which was another reason this moment felt so appealing. She did not care who saw, because what did it matter? It was only her family who wouldn't think twice about such things. She closed her eyes. "I do suddenly feel like I could sleep for a week, though," she said, amusement slipping around her words and a smile curving the corners of her mouth once again.
Still holding on to the fence with his right hand, he wrapped his left around Miahala protectively - his fingers closing around her opposite shoulder.
"Hush, love," he rasped soothingly so that his voice vibrated in his chest and against her. "Rest now, for you have earned it. The chance of tranquility - it is seldom given in a way like this. The evil rests as far as we know, and even tough we keep constant guard against it, we are relieved of our duty far enough to enjoy these rare moments."
With his eyes directed out towards the pasture, Caden held Miahala in silence. The minutes passed by as the northern winds passed over the landscape - indistinguishably. Left to his thoughts, the Warder thought about how it would be to finally set his foot on Tower soil again. His life would be put into a framed schedule again after weeks in the wilderness below the Blight border. He would return to responsibility, as well as the role of Gaidin in the eyes of the Trainees. He would have to be a lodestar again for the younger warriors - possibly help them by setting their heads straight before they took the test for the fancloak.
Before, he had been Gaidin Captain and had been the leader of the Unbonded Gaidin in the event of war. He had also been supposed to be a leader for the ones that had not earned their fanloack yet. He had been sorely tested in that aspect, since he had led Trainees against the Shadow like few had done before. The day he had been burned, many others had died. He took their deaths upon his own conscience, since it had been he who had - unknowingly - accepted darkfriends into their ranks.
A few weeks after the Dawn of Blood - and his two impersonators - had been slain together with all the ones that they knew had been involved in the plot against the Tower, Caden had walked into Sigmund von Danzig's study to be relieved from his duty as Captain. However, Saphire and Sigmund had been there, and on the Executive Council's table had laid the Rod of Dicipline. They had wanted to promote him instead, to Master of Training.
Despite his wishes and need for respite to amend for the failures that he had been responsible for, Caden had accepted on the basis that he was the only one who could do the task of restoring the Trainees morale in the ruins that the Yards had been left in.
The years that followed had been hard on him. Leanna and he had split ways and he had found himself struggling with his own dilemmas as well as trying to keep his mind on his responsibilities. He had sank deeper and deeper into the darkness of his mind. The sunlight that had shone through to his soul was Llewellyn and the new Bond to Miahala. Llewellyn left him however, and even though Miahala, Toseth and his Triad against Shadow had reaped a fair harvest, his mind was clouded with more and more doubt. After a collapse of mind and after being restored by Miahala and the Executive Council through the means of Dreaming, Caden had taken up duty in the Citadel.
During the years there, he had kept his title as Master of Training, but only trained the more disciplined Ji'alantin as they served there during varying periods of time. Sigmund, Shyne and later Janis Tearsin had taken care of the Drin'far'ji in the Yards.
Yet Caden could not find it in him to continue. With him in the Citadel and the Triad broken, and with Llewellyn still gone, he had despaired in the shadows. He had tendered his resignation as Master of Training and decided to live out his life in the Citadel and die when the Shadow finally bested him. After an attack upon the Citadel, and Caden still survived, he had found a small spark of determination to continue his fight. It had been Niga Santamar who had inspired him to take up his sword again that day - and Caden had decided to return to the Tower.
Llewellyn had come back to him then, under the pretence that she still loved him and that the duty that she had left for had been paramount for the safety of her daughter, but he had rejected her - rather cold-heartedly. Later on, Caden had found out that she instead fell into the arms of her former husband - Urikanu shin Larithan. He had done the right thing, even though he had suffered. Will the two of them be there when I return?
Miahala had returned to the Tower by that time as well, and Caden had told her about his ancestral ties to the House of Ives in Arafel. At that point, he had no design to go through with the task of regaining his honour in name and title. However, after accomplishing a smaller mission to the Baerlon, Caden had upon returning from it told her that he truly wished to reclaim his birthright after all - since their mission had ascertained his own feelings. So Miahala had dissolved their Bond and Caden had left his melted fancloak with Sigmund before he travelled north.
Now, as he meant to return, Caden was certain that he would not take the responsibilities he had carried before if they were offered to him. He might just enter the same spiral of depression again - despite that he had a new light that shone in his life. This love he had found to Miahala was a reason enough not to accept such duties - since he wanted to be by her side now and do a much better job of being her Warder than he had been before.
He would be a Gaidin - no more, no less.
After a time, Caden lowered his face and kissed the top of Miahala's head. "The meal should be ready soon. We'd better return, else they will be wondering."
"I care not so much for their wondering, as for the food," Mia said before either lifting her head or opening her eyes. Her deep voice was tinged with a slightly mischievous sort of amusement as she said it. She meant it, too. Mia was never much to care for what others thought of her and even less here, amongst those she loved.
She was, however, hungry.
Taking in a deep breath, she straightened herself up, but remained close, because in that instant, she could not bear the thought of being too far. "I suppose, though, that you are correct," she continued with a light smile, her head tilted back to look up at him, "And we should return before they send one of the poor children out hunting."
The pair then left the fence line and began their walk back to the house, but since they had not come too far out, it was not all that long a walk back and Mia didn't feel the need to rush. She simply let herself enjoy the time for what it was, idly wondering what deep thoughts had captured Caden, but deciding not to ask.
She knew that if she had a need to know, he would tell her. She did not worry over much about it else wise, for she did not sense any reason to be concerned from the bond.
It had been later in the day when they arrived than Mia had realized, or else time had been moving differently since they got here, for Mia could already feel the shift in the air that spoke of the soon coming of sunset. She couldn't yet see it, but knew that it wouldn't be long now before it started, although it came early in these months anyways.
Walking in to the house found it to be far noisier than it had been when they arrived. Horin and Fuella were helping to set the table while Gelletta and Mellyia were finishing with the meal itself - the former was slicing bread and the latter tending the stew. There was also now a man who sat at the table - if one looked for a few moments long enough, they would see the resemblance.
"Miahala," he said in a deep, rich voice filled with warm. He got up from the table and walked over to embrace her. "They told me you were here. It is wonderful to see you again." He then turned to Caden, "And they have told me of you, Gaidin. I am Lozen Intennon: father and husband, but far from head of the household in this family." He grinned. "It is good to meet you and I'm honored to have you both at our table."
"All right, that's enough chattering on, let's eat!" Mellyia said, carrying the pot of stew to a wooden block on the center of the table. "Don't be shy - help yourselves," she went on.
It did not appear to bother them in any way to have an Aes Sedai and her Gaidin at their table, although they didn't know the latter and he carried himself in such a way as to command respect. They did respect him, of course, but they were not bowed in any way by the presence - they were comfortable with themselves and their place in their lives, and of their home. They knew that it wasn't much, but it was enough.
Dinner passed as something of an event. It was loud and filled with much conversation, although only certain people were listening to certain others. Gelletta was teased rather mercilessly, but fondly, by her father about 'that boy in town' Balor, 'that young blacksmith' who she apparently visited whenever her father took her to the village.
Fuella tended to giggle a lot and interject comments in a young, high pitched voice and Horin ignored it, concentrating on the rather important task at hand: eating, although he glanced up often enough that if one observed him, they could tell that he didn't miss anything. Mia took a bet internally that he was usually on those trips and kept an eye on his sister.
This came from the feeling she got from him that she usually saw in the more somber of the Drin in the Training Yards: those that took on the role of 'protector' early on.
Mellyia didn't let the teasing go on too long before she backed Lozen down with a smile and Gelletta was allowed a chance for the heavy pink color to flow out of her face. The baby began to cry at one point and Mia told Mell to stay put. She excused herself from the table and brought Fenti out herself, although that's as far as she got before Mell took the little girl back and shooed Mia to her seat.
The kitchen and dining room was also the 'living room' once the dishes had been cleared. The sun had set over the course of their eating and candles were lit, in addition to the fire burning brightly. It provided enough light. The three children went to sit around the hearth. The girls pulled out sewing and Horin worked on repairing a bridle.
Mell fed Fenti while the four adults remained at the table, talking. "My aunt tends to be a bit close-mouthed when I ask her questions when she doesn't feel like responding, although I think she does it just to aggravate me," Lozen began with a smile, "So perhaps you'll be kinder, Gaidin. What brings you both to Saldaea?"
Leaning back in the chair, Caden's right forearm rested upon the tabletop. Tall as he was, his arm reached far enough to allow the elbow to be reclined upon the edge and his fingertips to rest lightly upon the surface.
"To make a very long story a tad shorter," he rasped slowly in reply. "We met by coincidence in Arafel. We reforged our Bond and I returned to her service as Gaidin after fifteen years apart."
Pointing his finger upon the table, he drew a horizontal line. "Then, as we decided to return to the Tower, we took a detour westwards. Firstly, I wanted to settle things with my family in Arafel, and then we aimed to get here too, so that Miahala could meet hers as well. It's rare for us to get such an opportunity of respite from Tower duties, so we will later be returning to the Tower via the southern route of river Arinelle." His finger travelled downwards to show the path.
"Truth be told, since I haven't set my foot in the Tower for a long time, I - on my part - am simply enjoying the journey; especially since I am sharing it from now on. The Blight-border can be a dreadfully lonely place, if not directly hazardous to your health."
He had enjoyed the meal and the display of emotions that had showed amidst the family members. He could see Miahala be a part of it, and understood what he had lacked as a child; comfort, warmth and trust. He had enjoyed neither in his upbringing, and at some level, it ached in his frozen heart to see what he had missed. What kind of man had he turned out to be if he had been brought up in an environment such as this? Would he even have taken up the sword?
Pausing, Caden leaned forward in his chair - making it creak slightly under his weight. Before the dinner, he had removed his armour and was dressed in his shirtsleeves and deep green breeches, but his weight was considerable even without all the metal and leather. He folded his big hands in front of himself. "My family, in Arafel, holds stables which are half empty and could use a new stock of full-bloods for the mounted forces we keep. If this family lack of profitable customers, I am willing to pay handsomely for them since I know that I will be buying from a reliable and first-rate source." He was very serious in his offer and figured that he could both make Miahala's family a bit more wealthy and also strengthen his estates before the inevitable Tarmon Gaidon. "The offer will be standing - for the whole Sha'hal family - as long as I am head of my House, and I can vouch for the maintenance of the animals once they are stabled there. Even without an exact number of mounts required in my head, I am well sure that it above seventy horses."
In the lack of a friendly smile and a common good sense of humour, Caden was doing what he could to extend a helping hand and thus also earn their trust. With such a generous offer, he hoped to make them accept him for what he was and not what he could have been if he was not a Warder and a man who had seen too much. "I am even willing to extend a contract to apply for a second and third deal once the new litters are born, since the mounts that I currently hold are old and worn."
Leaning back again, he lifted his hands placidly. "Please, do not answer right away or feel compelled to accept without thinking it through. I am merely saying that the offer is there for the taking. Miahala and I will be leaving long before you can talk this through thoroughly with the rest of the family, but you know where to reach me."
Lozen's brows rose in a show of surprise and Mellyia stopped and looked up from her tending of Fenti for just a moment. This was a generous offer, indeed. "It is one that we shall definitely speak with the family about, for it will certainly be a family effort to bear that many horses. Our own farm, even in a fertile year, will only see five or six mares foaling in a season at most, but the majority of us stick to the family trade," Lozen said.
"We must ask before we can properly consider and discuss it," Mellyia chimed in, having returned to feeding the little one, "Would you wish these to be young horses to be trained on your estates, or would you need them trained? Most all the family tends towards breeding stock for cavalry and warhorses alike, even a fair few who've gone to the Tower under our Aunt's request, so we can do so, should you wish it."
The rest of that conversation passed quickly, ascertaining what information they needed before agreeing to let it settle so that they might discuss it later and get back to him.
Through out it, Mia was quiet - for a change, around her family - and simply observed what was going on. She wanted to allow for Caden to come to terms with her family outside of her direct influence. He was his own man and could handle himself quite well, so she wasn't going to interfere... especially not in matters of business, as it was not her place, but she smiled warmly behind her mug of tea to watch the on-goings.
The evening passed all too quickly, but warmly, amidst the conversation and catching up that took place. The children were sent to bed and before long Mia felt it time to excuse themselves as well, for they would need to make an early start. Farewells were not yet said, for the family would be up at the same time that Mia and Caden would be and she would see to such words then.
With a good night bid to her Niece and Nephew, although it felt more like it was the reverse in some ways, she took a candle and led Caden through to the back of the house. Even after all this time, she remembered her way there. The stairs were wood and made in such a way that you could see through to behind them, but they only creaked a little under their weight. As with all things around here, it might not be much to look at, but it was solid.
She led him down the rather dark and narrow hall way, to the room in the back. "This is going to be strange," she whispered, opening the door and gesturing him inside. She followed and shut it, latching the iron fasteners behind her.
The bedroom looked very much like it had when she'd left. There had only been so many ways one might arrange furniture, so it pretty much stayed the same. Being at the edge of the house, one side of the room was angled along with the roof line. It had a single window in that wall, which had pale blue curtains drawn over it - ones that wouldn't hold light out but afforded some modesty.
There was a single bureau at the far side of the room, hidden in shadows, and it was in front of this that their saddlebags lay. A small table rested under the window and Mia set the candle down upon it. On the wall with the door, there was a bed against it with a heavy quilt and pair of pillows upon it.
"Well, that's an improvement," she said softly. "It used to just be a mattress on the floor," she answered before he asked. She gave him a small smile, laughing softly. "I feel like I'm fifteen," she added, reaching up and pulling out her hair. "I'm sleeping next to the wall so I'm not the one who ends up on the floor in the middle of the night," she went on, grinning with something like wicked amusement.
The room of Miahala's youth certainly had charm. It was very interesting to witness a shard of her past in such an acute way.
With his thumbs behind his belt, Caden observed the room with a smile playing on his lips. "You think I would push you off the bed?" he rasped as he stepped forward to look out the window. "Never. And if I have managed to do so before, you surely must have dreamt it, love. I'm a gentleman despite my looks."
Looking over his shoulder, he flashed her a glance that told her that he jested.
Instead of commenting further on the subject of sleeping arrangements, Caden turned back to her and stepped close enough to run his fingers through her unbound hair. His hand moved down to rest on her shoulder, and then up to the side of her neck in a slow motion. Once there, he let his fingers curl behind her neck and kissed her tenderly for a long time.
When he parted his lips from her, he began to tell her about his thoughts by the fence earlier; how he had decided to not accept any of his old positions in the Yards if they were offered to him. He also told her why, and how he hoped that would give him more time for the two of them. Furthermore, he told her how he had been feeling during the course of the years in the Tower.
"That way, you won't have to share me together with the whole Yards," he finished to say. "And since you only have one Warder now, it's for the better in regard to your protection. But the main reason is because of myself, and what we share."
His other hands resting upon her hips, he awaited what she had to say. Now had been a better time to bring up this subject than before, when dinner awaited them.
In response to his comment about the bed, Mia smiled and gave a light-hearted, soft laugh. "I did not mean you have done so in the past," she said, her voice quiet but amused, "I meant that neither you nor I are children any longer, or the size of them... and that bed is not all that large. We should fit well enough. I just mean to work the odds, for you're more likely to stay put than I in sleep."
The amusement tempered, but the lightness of spirit remained... Her mood simply softened as he stepped towards her, moving his hands over her shoulder and to her neck, quieting the mischief in her soul - temporarily - with the tender kiss. He had her attention fully and there was comfort and serenity to be found in the safety of her childhood home, surrounded by the quiet of the Saldaean countryside and her family.
She listened attentively as he explained the thoughts he'd had earlier and the decisions that he'd come to, and the reason behind them. Emotions ebbed softly in his voice, in the sense of the air around them and through the bond. Mia's eyes rested on his as she listened and a faint smile curved at the corners of her mouth. "Whatever decision you should make, shall I support," she said.
A moment of quiet passed before she continued. "I can be, at times, a treacherously selfish creature, though, so I will not lie - as I cannot anyways - and I shall say that it does bring me some relief and gladness to hear you say so. I wish to keep you." The small smile deepened a little bit and the dim light of the candle flickered over her eyes before her expression became a touch more somber.
"Also, I have been alone now - of heart and of bond - for some while, but to the latter, it is a comfort to know that I shall have you wholly at my side for whatever journeys and missions that we should set ourselves on. Even if you should ever change your mind and wish to re-take the mantles of former offices, I would not be upset nor would I argue, but I will say that I am glad in this moment that you've chosen not to."
Lifting herself up slowly, she rose to her toes to kiss him and then lean against him for a long moment and a close embrace, before she pulled back and gave him a gentle smile. "Come now, love... We are to have an early start in the morning and we should get some rest."
He had suspected that she would have liked the news, but upon witnessing her reaction, he knew he had made the right choice. As he gave her his new-found smile, Caden Ives began to unbutton his shirt.
"I wonder if you had imagined that you would be sleeping together with a 'boy' in your old room when you set out on this journey," he rasped ruefully and dropped the shirt behind him. "I, on my part, certainly had no idea that I would share such a small bed with my former Bondmate before I met you in the woods."
Not long after, the candle had been blown out and the small window was left dark in the Saldaean night.
The following morning, they woke up as they had fallen asleep, in close embrace and without a care for the world outside. Finally, they grudgingly got to their feet and prepared themselves for departure. Caden waited while Miahala looked around her old childhood room once more before they brought their things downstairs.
The rest of the family was already up and busying about in the kitchen. Lozen was helping out to prepare some travelling food for them, which they accepted under protest. They were generous people, the Sha'hals, and Caden found himself wanting to stay just to learn more about how they cooperated and functioned as a family.
Their behaviour was alien to him since he had not had an upbringing anything akin to the one he was witnessing. He saw how the children were kept in line with subtle tricks of leadership not unlike the ones a military leader needed to use in order to keep his men-at-arms in line. Fatherhood, he thought, watching Lozen chide Horin for not doing what he should - but without being unfriendly. The boy turned cooperative immediately, the one kind of leadership I have not studied.
It was a role one learned for himself, and could not be taught.
They ate well, more than they needed, since there were much put fourth on the table. Caden was asked more about the deal he had offered the previous night and they talked about business until it was time to leave.
Thus they said their farewells outside, letting Miahala talk to them in private while he fastened their saddlebags to N'dore and Winterbourne. When he was done, he strode back to the gathering.
"It has been an honour to be your guest. No man or woman can wish for more in ways of hospitality in visiting your home. Thank you, and I hope we will meet again soon," he made a small bow - in accord to the situation and not at all formal, as in gratitude to a friend.
They left then, the farm disappearing behind them slowly with each step their mounts took. They rode towards Arinelle river and their path home - to return to duty as Warder and Aes Sedai once more. The Grey Tower awaited them, and their battle. Things would be the same again, yet very different all the same, for they shared more than their covenant of steel and power.
They shared love, and all it entailed - a bond so much stronger.
