Fanfic:A Crime inside Tower Walls/Chapter III
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I escaped my final moment, but it's turning back at me.
On every corner I can feel it, waiting...
Just a moment, no awareness... I could easily slip away
And then I'll be gone forever.
I'm searching, I'm fighting for a way to get through...
To turn it away.
('Final Destination' - Within Temptation)
As Miahala moved back in to consciousness for the second time, the first thing that she was aware of was the feeling of cold air on her back. It came to her mind then what this meant, though, and the rest of her awareness snapped back in to place with all the elasticity of a horseman's whip.
Her eyes flashed open and her breath caught in her throat as she awakened to find herself still on her knees, only now she was facing the wall and her hands were shackled and chained, held above her head. The top half of her dress had been cut away, leaving her back bare.
"I think she's finally awake," Halana purred disdainfully from somewhere behind the Captain General.
"Patience, Halana," Garin said. "It gave us time to better prepare."
A shiver that Miahala couldn't stop ran through her as the cold, wet air sank in to her exposed flesh and the sounds in their voices slipped in to her ears, feeding the darkness inside of her mind.
How long have I slept? she wondered. She didn't wonder what they planned to do to her, because wondering that would serve no purpose but to make the darkness grow. Instead, she had to try to think of what weak spots in herself she could try to control. A moment of no awareness and I am at their mercy...
She was fully aware, of course, that she was at their mercy now, but there was something about remaining awake that gave her some semblance of power.
"You have such lovely scars," Halana was saying. Mia couldn't see her, but she knew that she was closer now. "I am only sad that it wasn't me who got to put them there." There was a faint laugh. "My dear Garin is very talented at such things, you see... or you're about to see."
Mia heard the sound of something touching the stone. She felt the change in the air around her and could suddenly smell the presence. In her pain, and the terror that she could not let show, her senses were alive in a way that was agonizing... as if everything else wasn't painful enough.
Were she to guess, she would have to say that Garin had just knelt behind her. Moments later, she heard the sound of a blade being unsheathed.
"I know that these were done by some creature of Shadow," Garin began. "I can tell because of the clear outline that remains of the scars. Even without Healing through the Power, scars fade over years and you have been alive a long time, yet there remain lines easily seen here."
She felt the tip of the blade touch the skin of her back lightly, for now. "In fact, they are so clear that it's like I could trace them."
The blade suddenly pierced her back, just enough to make the cut, and then slowly moved downwards along the line of one of her scars. Mia screamed, but held it behind her teeth, which she ground together. Even her training couldn't stop pain and she twisted slightly, but could move nowhere - the metal of the shackles cut in to her wrists.
"Beautifully receptive," Garin said softly. She could almost hear his slight smile.
Mia squeezed her eyes shut against the pain and against the sensation of warm blood running down her back, being caught by the remnants of her dress as it hung low in the back, but remained caught over the bulge of her pregnant stomach. The cloth quickly felt damp and chill.
"You know what we want," Garin then said. Enough time had passed for the initial wave of pain to pass and he placed the blade to another scar, dragging downwards when it was clear she'd say nothing. She gave another shriek through her teeth, tears pressing through her closed eyes.
Moments passed, and then another... another... another... He repeated the statement to equally no avail.
Suddenly, Halana knelt near the wall and inside Mia's peripheral vision. "Perhaps when he's done with your back, he'll move to the front and give that pretty face of yours some more pretty scars... like that warder of yours," she said. Her mouth curved around the words, petulant and pleased.
Trembling all over, Mia turned her head as much as she could and just barely met Halana's eyes. "He's more beautiful than you've ever been, or ever will be," she said softly, through her teeth.
"Give me that," Halana demanded of Garin.
Several moments of silence passed and Halana repeated the command. "No," Garin finally said. "You shall not interfere with my work."
Most Aes Sedai probably would've been angry with a Warder for denying a command when their life was not at stake, but Halana didn't show any steel or anger to this. She simply stood and walked away. A part of Mia's mind registered this as curious, but it moved on when the blade set to her again and her focus blurred.
The sound of Halana's shoes brought Mia back around. Garin was pausing again and she could hear the sound of the Black witch's heels clicking along the stone floor, impatient. It provided Mia the moment she needed to gather her mind together again, although it grew harder each time... She felt as though she was slipping away.
Do not fade, she commanded herself internally, although so much of her was just screaming to find a way to make him stop. Stay awake, help guide them to you... Pray to the Light that they, that he, that someone is looking for you...
She felt blade to skin again and sank in to her mind.
How many times had she escaped death? The inner world of her memory revisited all the battles she had found, alone or with others. She thought to the many foes that she had seen vanquished and the many moments that seemed like they might be the end of her world, but weren't... all those things that she had survived.
It seemed like such an unfair twist of fate that it should come the time of her ending to be like this... captured, held at someone else's will and tortured to death. She wondered how much more blood she could lose before she slipped from life...
Mia slowly returned to the world around her... again. She was passing in and out of the world of her mind's eye and its dreams, and the reality where her blood turned cold in pools on fabric.
She lived... for now, and so did her child. That was what she had to focus on until she found a way out of this place of Shadow, or until someone found her and freed her... It was her shred of hope woven in to the tapestry of this moment and she had to cling to it.
The world bled away again as another wound was opened.
Tell me I'm frozen
But what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons
I did it for you
When lies turned into truth
I would sacrifice for you
You say that I am frozen
But what can I do?
("Frozen" - Within Temptation)
"Why are you stopping?" Halana asked from the other side of the room.
The air shifted as Garin got to his feet. She could almost hear the sound of his cleaning blood off the knife he'd held and used against her. Miahala would have shivered, if she'd been able to. "We can't have her dying on us just yet," he replied.
Halana snorted and Mia could hear her take a few steps closer. "Why not?" she asked. "She's not going to be any use at all."
"Silence," Garin growled. "You're too impatient, woman," he said in low tones. The sound of metal to metal came as he re-sheathed the blade and then air pushed against her back and she felt his knee to her shoulder blades as he stepped in closer to release her binds from the chain that held them above her head.
Unprepared for it and unable to do anything about it anyways, she fell back as he stepped out of the way. Her open wounds touched cold, wet and dirty stone and she screamed, not knowing that she could still make any noise at all.
Garin let out a low chuckle. "You should feel better to not be tied so," he said mockingly. "We'll be back soon, when you've had time to think about this and how it will be better for you to cooperate."
She could hear the pair of boots walking out of the room. A door was opened and, for an instant, torch light poured in before the door shut again. Mia's grasp on consciousness waxed and waned as the pain roared through her body, searing the muscles.
It took all of her power to push herself on to her side, to find some relief, however small. Concentrate, Mia... You cannot let go. If you let go, all is lost, she chided herself. She would probably have been speaking out loud to herself in the effort had her voice not been mangled from a raw throat.
How much more could she take, she wondered. Their demands for information were persistent and the questions grew deeper as they went. They wanted to know of the Ajah, of the Tower, and eventually even about any information she had from her work with numerous nations.
She had lived for so long and she knew a great deal. The information that they could gather from her would serve them well, too well, and they all knew it. Garin would not give up.
As much as I have to, she answered her own question. She forced the thought deeper in to her spirit. Her mission through out the entirety of her long life in the Tower was to defeat the Shadow where ever it be and to not let it have any ground.
Even in the face of her own destruction she had to hold strong to that. She could not sacrifice her loved ones, family and friends, her home, countries to the whim of the Black Ajah. To give in would save herself at the expense of the torment of everyone and everything else.
Would you sacrifice even your unborn child for this cause? It was a very dark voice that whispered inside of her now and she would almost have thought it was Halana, but she knew it wasn't. It was her own.
Tears began to pour again, though she had not thought that she'd had any left. She sobbed silently and it ravaged her throat to do so, but she could not stop it. The tears flowed and the pain raged. It was all that she could do to withstand the torrent, yet... there was no other choice but to withstand it.
Would you sacrifice that which you love most?
Another sob tore itself from her. She pulled her bound hands against her bare chest, trying to hold what little warmth there was to be found inside herself. Would you? The voice was forceful and persistent. It was cold and unforgiving, and who could forgive her for the battle that she was forced to fight inside herself at the moment?
If it came to it and it very well might, would others understand her choices? Could they? Would she be forgiven as she was left to unravel and be rewoven? It truly was the Dark One's own work to put her in a position to have to make such a choice, but she couldn't help but wonder what people would think of her decisions, should it come to pass... Would they understand why she'd had to?
Would the Light forgive her these sins?
Would you sacrifice these things in your grasp for the intangible greater cause? The voice against pressed the question and tore her from her thoughts.
With the answer that bloomed in her mind came a pain greater than anything Garin or Halana could ever truly do to her, despite the question and answer being born of their actions:
Yes. I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The Truth will free my soul.
("Somewhere" - Within Temptation)
The Shades of her soul had ceased their inquisition. Shining the light of the very harsh truths and depths of her love and what she would sacrifice to save it from the torments that could be brought had made them fade away and leave her in the cold and the darkness and the silence.
It wasn't silent for long however.
As Miahala raged for control over her mind again, she could hear footsteps outside the door. She couldn't see the door because it was somewhere 'above' where her head lay, but the silence in this cell was so oppressive that she could hear almost anything, everything.
She forced herself to listen and to try to think. Could she very well die here? Yes, but she couldn't let that be the ending without at least trying to escape. She knew that she hadn't been here very long yet, although she had no comprehension of how long it had been precisely. It had felt like an eternity, but she knew that for the illusion brought with pain.
Deep inside, though, she knew that they'd be looking for her... When she had been fighting with Halana and Garin in the corridor of the Green Ajah halls, she had felt Caden. She had known that he was desperately trying to get to her and she had been trying to hold on as long as possible until he did.
It just hadn't been long enough, but she knew he would be coming for her. He would find her. She just hoped that she could hold on long enough this time, or find some way out of it herself.
You are Miahala Sha'hal... Machera Jolstraer Ives. You were born in to a Saldaean farm family, strong and stubborn. You have been brought to greater strength by the love and spirits, bonds that can never truly be broken, of three strong men who would not have you fall down like this.
You are Aes Sedai of the Grey Tower and have seen a century come upon you.
You are Captain General of the Green Ajah and have faced down torrents of Shadowspawn before you and have survived. You have born four children to the glorious Light and have seen each grow up, and you will be alive to bear one more.
Through the darkness, Mia smiled very faintly and forced her eyes open. Don't lay down like this.
Voices suddenly sounded from just outside the door and Mia brought her attention around and listened. It was Halana and Garin. She was unable to repress a shiver of fear, wondering what they would bring upon her next, but she felt her strength again, at least a little.
"She's not going to give anything up," Halana said and then sighed audibly.
"I should teach you patience. You're a child sometimes," Garin said and his voice was filled with venom and ice.
There were several long moments of silence and then more words, but these were said too quietly for Mia to be able to hear. The sharp sound that followed she did hear and she would have to venture to guess it sounded as though someone had been hit...
"It's as bad as with those other two. It's been years and we're not going to find them either," Halana said, petulant as the spoiled child he accused her of being. "Benar and Selenirra are beyond our grasp. They were both just as stubborn and useless as that wench in there and even less good now that they're gone."
"Hush," Garin hissed. "You have no concept of the bigger picture. We need them back, too." There was a pause. "Has there been any news from those contacts we sent missive to?"
"No," Halana replied.
Somewhere in the depths of Miahala's mind the names registered and burrowed, but given all that had happened, she couldn't pull forth the deeper meaning to them. Perhaps later...
The door opened and Mia tried to suppress the shudder that followed.
"You didn't think we were done yet, did you?" Garin asked with dark pleasure and Mia did what she could to steel herself against the deepening dark that was to come.
References
- ↑ Aias was designed by Sigmund von Danzig (player), then later given to Eric Robins. If someone knows who wrote for Aias during this period, they can amend this to only show the correct name.
